Had a chat in the car with my little fellas earlier this week. The topic of our conversation? Marriage. It seems to be a rather dominant conversation topic in our home, along with trains, Mario, Sonic, planes, and jail.
I told the boys that when I was younger and thought about what kind of man I wanted to marry, I wanted to marry someone kind, smart, with a good sense of humour, someone who wanted children and who would put family first.
I asked the boys what kind of qualities they would like their future wife to have.
Tony was quiet for a moment and after some thought he said he wanted to marry someone who wanted to have children, who was a hard worker, who was a nice person, who didn't break the law, who didn't smoke or swear, and who could cook. Oh, and someone who liked Mario and Sonic.
This seemed like a pretty good list to me. I think I would be pretty happy with a daughter-in-law like this.
I asked Carter the same question. His list of qualities was much shorter. He said;
"I want a girl with a short skirt and a long jacket."
Friday, June 28, 2013
Friday, June 14, 2013
True villains
Tony and I watched 'Rumpelstiltskin' a few weeks back on YouTube. He hadn't heard the story before and found it very interesting. We then watched 'Hansel and Gretal'. Tony was gobsmacked with how awful the stepmother was. He had seen the 'Hansel and Gretal' movie at his Aunty's house but I could tell he really couldn't fathom the idea of a mother leading her children out to a forest and left to starve just because there wasn't enough food to feed all four of them. What a horrible, horrible woman!
I agree. It is horrible......if the story is accurate.
It seems that the story we hear is the children's side of it all. I'm not saying its completely wrong, just that if we heard the step mother's story, perhaps we wouldn't view her as such a villain. Let's give a fellow mother the benefit of the doubt - we all know what kids are like right?
I see flaws in this story which lead me to believe Hansel and Gretal may have taken a few liberties in their story.
1. They WILLINGLY went into the woods with their Father and Stepmother and when told to stay there as their parents left.....they did. One word here raises doubt to this story.
Obedience.
Not likely!
2. When they overhead their parents planning the night before they were taken into the woods for the first time, they gathered white pebbles to help them find their way back. Now I can't speak for anyone else but my boys can hardly plan where to put their next foot when walking, let alone plan to outsmart a supposed 'nasty' Stepmother.
3. The lack of bickering. At no point in this story do Hansel and Gretal argue, bicker, or tease me another. This story has GOT to be false.
It's not that I think the whole thing is a big fat lie. I just think it didn't quite happen as we have heard it.
Suppose 'perfect' little Hansel and Gretal didn't take kindly to their new step mother. Suppose they refused to eat the nutritious meals she slaved over.
Perhaps they WERE sent out into the forest, but only to find berries, and they wandered off and decided to muck about for hours on end and get lost. Instead of wanting to get in trouble, perhaps they made up an elaborate story. Yes, it's a good story.....but it REEKS of childish imagination. I mean a house made of sweets with a witch inside to lure unsuspecting children?
COME ON!! It sounds a little too convenient to me.
For all we know, this poor step mother could have just sent them out of the house for a moments peace. Just a quiet hour to clean up the never ending mess, to be away from the never ending barrage of questions;
"What can I eat?"
"Where is my other shoe?"
"I want to play the WII but its not working properly! Muuuuummm can you fix it!!"
(I know WII didn't exist in 1990 but MAYBE Hansel and Gretal had one in old time Germany??)
Perhaps she just wanted a moments peace to go to the bathroom alone or shower without having to referee arguments over who is Peppa Pig and who is Brother George.
Now I would never send my children out to the woods alone! I'm not condoning this at all. But I see flaws ind these stories we are told and the more I think about it, I am pretty certain Hansel and Gretal is a story passed around by these two cunning children to get their Father back to themselves and become little heroes in the meantime.
Or maybe I am wrong. Maybe they really did outsmart their parents, find a house of lollies, and defeat a witch.
Maybe I just have too much time on my hands.
I agree. It is horrible......if the story is accurate.
It seems that the story we hear is the children's side of it all. I'm not saying its completely wrong, just that if we heard the step mother's story, perhaps we wouldn't view her as such a villain. Let's give a fellow mother the benefit of the doubt - we all know what kids are like right?
I see flaws in this story which lead me to believe Hansel and Gretal may have taken a few liberties in their story.
1. They WILLINGLY went into the woods with their Father and Stepmother and when told to stay there as their parents left.....they did. One word here raises doubt to this story.
Obedience.
Not likely!
2. When they overhead their parents planning the night before they were taken into the woods for the first time, they gathered white pebbles to help them find their way back. Now I can't speak for anyone else but my boys can hardly plan where to put their next foot when walking, let alone plan to outsmart a supposed 'nasty' Stepmother.
3. The lack of bickering. At no point in this story do Hansel and Gretal argue, bicker, or tease me another. This story has GOT to be false.
It's not that I think the whole thing is a big fat lie. I just think it didn't quite happen as we have heard it.
Suppose 'perfect' little Hansel and Gretal didn't take kindly to their new step mother. Suppose they refused to eat the nutritious meals she slaved over.
Perhaps they WERE sent out into the forest, but only to find berries, and they wandered off and decided to muck about for hours on end and get lost. Instead of wanting to get in trouble, perhaps they made up an elaborate story. Yes, it's a good story.....but it REEKS of childish imagination. I mean a house made of sweets with a witch inside to lure unsuspecting children?
COME ON!! It sounds a little too convenient to me.
For all we know, this poor step mother could have just sent them out of the house for a moments peace. Just a quiet hour to clean up the never ending mess, to be away from the never ending barrage of questions;
"What can I eat?"
"Where is my other shoe?"
"I want to play the WII but its not working properly! Muuuuummm can you fix it!!"
(I know WII didn't exist in 1990 but MAYBE Hansel and Gretal had one in old time Germany??)
Perhaps she just wanted a moments peace to go to the bathroom alone or shower without having to referee arguments over who is Peppa Pig and who is Brother George.
Now I would never send my children out to the woods alone! I'm not condoning this at all. But I see flaws ind these stories we are told and the more I think about it, I am pretty certain Hansel and Gretal is a story passed around by these two cunning children to get their Father back to themselves and become little heroes in the meantime.
Or maybe I am wrong. Maybe they really did outsmart their parents, find a house of lollies, and defeat a witch.
Maybe I just have too much time on my hands.
Monday, June 3, 2013
On this day
A post from Anthony:
The fourth of June is a date of significance for me.
The fourth of June is a date of significance for me.
It is the day that I celebrate my beautiful wife's birthday. It is also the day that I lost my elder brother some 13 years ago.
I remember waking in the middle of the night to see two police officers telling my Mum and Dad that there had been accident and that their son had been killed. I will never forget the pain that I felt that night. Equally I will never forget the love shown to my family in the immediate hours of our tragedy. The strength of character that I saw in my parents moves me to tears as I think of it. While their own hearts were broken for the loss of their son, they remained stoic as one by one their children would wake. As each child would wake and come down the stairs Mum and Dad would explain to them what had happened that night and that Gene would not be coming home. I cant begin to imagine what they must have been feeling in those moments but I am forever grateful to them for their amazing strength. Without anytime to deal with their own pain they began to comfort and strengthen their children and reassure us all that things were going to be ok.
The example of my parents on that June 4th night in the year 2000 helped to shape me as a man.
Jo never met my brother Gene. I first met Jo on the 15th of February 2004. Less than a year after our first meeting, she would become my wife. While I have been married to Jo for 8 of the 9 years that I have known her, it is strange to me to think that it has only been that short. It feels like we've been part of each others lives for much longer than that. I never knew her as a child or teenager but when she is telling our boys stories from when she was younger I feel like those stories are a part of "us". It's not just that they are familiar to me in the sense that I have heard them before either. The stories and experiences of her past have helped her to become the beautiful woman that she is now. I love everything about her- and all the things that have lead her to be this way. She is the strongest person I know.
We always joke that we would never have been friends growing up- but now I can't think of life without her in it. Happy birthday Jobags!
On this day I am full of gratitude for two people that I love dearly. One that I was lucky enough to call my brother and the other my girl.
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Birthday Blues
So my 29th birthday is coming up and I was thinking to myself;
"Hmmm, 29 isn't that old right? I mean, having a 7 year old can make me feel old, but I know that in most peoples opinion 29 is still on the younger side."
I was feeling good about this.
Enter Tony.
On Friday night, the movie 'Suddenly 30' was on. I asked the boys if they wanted to watch and they seemed interested. Early on in the movie, Jenna (Jennifer Garner's character) wants to be older. Her ideal age is 30 (ahh the stupidity of youth). To try and make herself appear a little more...ahem...mature, she stuffs her bra with tissues and is busted by her Mother.
My clueless boys found this baffling and Tony asked me;
"Mum, why is she doing that?"
I gave a simple, yet what I thought was sufficient, answer.
"She is doing it to look older, like a grown up woman."
He gave a laugh and shook his head at such a silly idea. Then he stung me twice in one comment as he replied;
"That's dumb isn't it Mum. Look, you only have little ones and you're old!"
So this birthday I have been reminded that I am old AND in Tony's opinion flat-chested. Thanks Tones.....thanks a bunch!
"Hmmm, 29 isn't that old right? I mean, having a 7 year old can make me feel old, but I know that in most peoples opinion 29 is still on the younger side."
I was feeling good about this.
Enter Tony.
On Friday night, the movie 'Suddenly 30' was on. I asked the boys if they wanted to watch and they seemed interested. Early on in the movie, Jenna (Jennifer Garner's character) wants to be older. Her ideal age is 30 (ahh the stupidity of youth). To try and make herself appear a little more...ahem...mature, she stuffs her bra with tissues and is busted by her Mother.
My clueless boys found this baffling and Tony asked me;
"Mum, why is she doing that?"
I gave a simple, yet what I thought was sufficient, answer.
"She is doing it to look older, like a grown up woman."
He gave a laugh and shook his head at such a silly idea. Then he stung me twice in one comment as he replied;
"That's dumb isn't it Mum. Look, you only have little ones and you're old!"
So this birthday I have been reminded that I am old AND in Tony's opinion flat-chested. Thanks Tones.....thanks a bunch!
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
A little night time crazy
There are certain little things in life that I take great pleasure in. Some I know are probably on the more common side, some maybe not so much. But life is about loving the little things right?
•Clean, fresh sheets
•Having my grocery shopping completed and home by 9:30am
•Having dinner done by lunchtime
•Separating my lollies (no matter what kind they are) into colour groups and eating one colour at a time.
•Putting on my socks and having no wrinkles
•Cleaning my ears with cotton buds (I know, I know, you shouldn't do this)
•The taste and texture of raw spaghetti
•The washing basket empty
•Licking my finger and putting it in sand and eating it (I don't know where this came from but I have craved sand as long as I can remember)
•A full fruit bowl with a variety of colours
•Leftovers for breakfast
•Finally popping that stubborn pimple
•Scratching a mosquito bite and getting it to bleed so it will finally stop itching!
•Being in bed by 8:30pm
•Getting a piece of apple/popcorn out that was stuck between my teeth
•Having the exact amount of change in my wallet that I need
•Measuring cups of flour and leveling them off with a knife and seeing it PERFECTLY smooth
•Wrapping a sandwich in cling wrap just right
•Pulling into the Macca's drive thru and your food being ready for you when you get to that final window without barely even having to stop
Now that you have wasted a few precious minutes reading this ridiculous list, just admit it....you were agreeing with at least one of these!
•Clean, fresh sheets
•Having my grocery shopping completed and home by 9:30am
•Having dinner done by lunchtime
•Separating my lollies (no matter what kind they are) into colour groups and eating one colour at a time.
•Putting on my socks and having no wrinkles
•Cleaning my ears with cotton buds (I know, I know, you shouldn't do this)
•The taste and texture of raw spaghetti
•The washing basket empty
•Licking my finger and putting it in sand and eating it (I don't know where this came from but I have craved sand as long as I can remember)
•A full fruit bowl with a variety of colours
•Leftovers for breakfast
•Finally popping that stubborn pimple
•Scratching a mosquito bite and getting it to bleed so it will finally stop itching!
•Being in bed by 8:30pm
•Getting a piece of apple/popcorn out that was stuck between my teeth
•Having the exact amount of change in my wallet that I need
•Measuring cups of flour and leveling them off with a knife and seeing it PERFECTLY smooth
•Wrapping a sandwich in cling wrap just right
•Pulling into the Macca's drive thru and your food being ready for you when you get to that final window without barely even having to stop
Now that you have wasted a few precious minutes reading this ridiculous list, just admit it....you were agreeing with at least one of these!
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Glad today is over
Unless Tony and Carter are actually arguing with one another, we don't often have to tell them off at the same time. They are considerate enough to generally take turns being rat bags so we can tell them off one at a time.
Tony was fantastic all day today.
You know what that means for Carter......
By golly he had a SHOCKER of a day. I won't go into all the details but by lunchtime he had been a right old grump for over 2 hours. Anthony and I were patient with him.....oh boy were we patient.
But that patience cracked. You know how sometimes you can be patient for the most difficult behavior but its something tiny that cracks it. What cracked me? A little bowl of corn kernels.
Carter had calmed down and was closer to his normal self, but upon being told the result of his poor behavior this morning would be not being able to perform a concert for us (something he was looking forward to) until tomorrow, he saw red.
In his anger, he ran out the back and took a little bowl of corn kernels with him. He dramatically tipped the bowl on the floor and waited for my reaction.
I was ticked off, but didn't want to show him he had got the better of me. I sternly told him that he could not come inside until he had picked up every single corn kernel and put it back in the bowl. He didn't like this but I stayed firm and calm. He started to pick them up but then ran off yelling insults (I will share these later). I came outside again and with less control I told him to come back and finish his job.
Repeat this several times and fast forward 30 minutes and you will find me no longer calm, brandishing a wooden spoon, threatening to chase him around the back yard if need be. Thankfully the threat was enough!
He certainly tested us both today but we both kept our cool rather well for the most part. Aside from my outburst outside - neighbors I apologize.
During the disaster of a day that was today, we got some gems from Carter. In trying his best to show his anger he came up with some interesting insults.
To me;
"You eat at the toilet restaurant!! "
And to Anthony;
"You....are....a....pretty....normal....guy!"
Talk about harsh huh!
Tony was fantastic all day today.
You know what that means for Carter......
By golly he had a SHOCKER of a day. I won't go into all the details but by lunchtime he had been a right old grump for over 2 hours. Anthony and I were patient with him.....oh boy were we patient.
But that patience cracked. You know how sometimes you can be patient for the most difficult behavior but its something tiny that cracks it. What cracked me? A little bowl of corn kernels.
Carter had calmed down and was closer to his normal self, but upon being told the result of his poor behavior this morning would be not being able to perform a concert for us (something he was looking forward to) until tomorrow, he saw red.
In his anger, he ran out the back and took a little bowl of corn kernels with him. He dramatically tipped the bowl on the floor and waited for my reaction.
I was ticked off, but didn't want to show him he had got the better of me. I sternly told him that he could not come inside until he had picked up every single corn kernel and put it back in the bowl. He didn't like this but I stayed firm and calm. He started to pick them up but then ran off yelling insults (I will share these later). I came outside again and with less control I told him to come back and finish his job.
Repeat this several times and fast forward 30 minutes and you will find me no longer calm, brandishing a wooden spoon, threatening to chase him around the back yard if need be. Thankfully the threat was enough!
He certainly tested us both today but we both kept our cool rather well for the most part. Aside from my outburst outside - neighbors I apologize.
During the disaster of a day that was today, we got some gems from Carter. In trying his best to show his anger he came up with some interesting insults.
To me;
"You eat at the toilet restaurant!! "
And to Anthony;
"You....are....a....pretty....normal....guy!"
Talk about harsh huh!
Saturday, May 11, 2013
What my children have turned me into
Remember the game 'Opposites'? Where "yes" means "no" and "no" means "yes". Where saying you "hate" chocolate really means you "love" chocolate.
Life with children becomes a permanent game of opposites. With Mothers Day just a couple of days away, it really made me think about how being a Mother has changed my life and me as a person. I became a mother at 21. I know that by the world's standards, this is on the younger side. I was still a Uni student and my peers were leading very different lives from playgroups and baths in the kitchen sink. It was hard work, and I'm not saying I enjoyed every aspect of being a mother, but I loved our life.
But the presence of this tiny person in your life changes your priorities. It shifts certain things from important to unimportant. From a necessity to a luxury. Such as 8 hours sleep - it used to be the minimum sleep requirement but once a baby is in the house, 8 hours sleep STRAIGHT is nothing short of a miracle deserving of a Facebook announcement.
Tony is 7 now, and I still haven't got this parenting thing down pat. But I love the 'opposites' that have taken place since Tony and Carter came along.
A quiet weekend. Pre-kids a quiet weekend was boring. It meant you were wasting those precious days off work. A quiet weekend felt like a failure. As a Mother, quiet weekends are precious. Once I had children I became excited when we have a quiet weekend.
Shopping. Why in heavens does anyone ENJOY shopping??? I do recall sometime ago, back when I had my sanity, I used to actually CHOOSE to go shopping for fun! But now I shop for groceries, birthday presents, winter clothes, new school shoes, child neurofen, and countless handballs to replace the ones that end up on the school roof at recess time. I DO NOT enjoy window shopping anymore. Why would I when I could be at home on the couch watching Ellen?
This brings me to my choice of clothes. I was never particularly stylish, but I did try and make SOME effort. I still try and at least appear decent, but I'm not gonna lie - I do look at certain clothes and wonder;
"Can I get away with going bra-less under this? Would anyone know if I just wore this over the top of my pajamas? Will food smears and boogas be camouflaged?"
Dining out. Ah I can't tell if it was real or a dream but food was once a social thing. You enjoyed eating new foods and scanned the menu freely milling over all the tasty sounding option. My choice of a restaurant is now one that has a kids play area that I can supervise without getting up from my seat and re-fills for the echildren (heaven knows they wont eat their meal but they will certainly drink their weight in drink). I know eating with children means their attention span clocks start ticking the second you walk through the door so I check the menu online to save time and of course the all important instructions to the waiter;
"Just bring it out as its ready. I don't care if dessert comes first and I end up with soup and a side plate of fries at the end, just bring it as its ready."
Handbag size. A cute, girlie little handbag was once something to show off. Other female friends admired such a purchase. Of course you couldn't really carry anything aside from a credit card and lip gloss.....but look how cute! Even though I 'technically' am not in need of a nappy bag these days, my handbag has pretty much taken over the job. If it doesn't resemble the bag Mary Poppins had, it's useless to me. On any given day you could check in my handbag and find my wallet, keys, diary, 11 pens, gum, a muesli bar, tweezers, a banana, lollipops, 99 bobby pins, a sandwich, wipes, tissues, floss, hand sanitizer, toy cars .... You get the picture. I am going to take this opportunity to brag and tell you I ALWAYS win the handbag game at Bridal Showers. It's my shining moment! Pre-children you go for cute little handbags, post-children it's a case of the bigger the better.
And of course this opposites game affects your sleep. Not just that you once gots some and now you don't, but your sleep patterns. I recall a time when it was great staying up late. Fun stuff happened late. If there was a dance or party on that started at 8pm, it was vital to not show up til about 10pm because it wasn't fun yet. You stayed up late and simply slept late the next morning to make up for it. But no longer! A sleep in is 7am. To make up for this lack of sleep, I have, like many Mothers, resorted to adding those extra much-needed hours of sleep to the evening instead. Once my boys are in bed, I'm in bed. Normally by 8pm - I kid you not. I even make sure I am in my pajamas about 5pm so I don't have to waste precious sleep time getting changed. Any social event I go to, I am mindful of the clock. Once it hits 9:30pm, I turn into Cinderella trying to get home before midnight. My mental clock is counting down how many hours of sleep I will get if I go to bed much later. I know,
I know, I am extremely lame!
You see though. It's not just little changes to your life - in many cases it is a complete 360. Becoming a mother has changed my life in such a way that no other decision can even come close. It's not glamorous or easy, but boy do I love it! I am so thankful I get to be the mother of my two precious monkeys - they make my world brighter than I ever thought it could be.
Life with children becomes a permanent game of opposites. With Mothers Day just a couple of days away, it really made me think about how being a Mother has changed my life and me as a person. I became a mother at 21. I know that by the world's standards, this is on the younger side. I was still a Uni student and my peers were leading very different lives from playgroups and baths in the kitchen sink. It was hard work, and I'm not saying I enjoyed every aspect of being a mother, but I loved our life.
But the presence of this tiny person in your life changes your priorities. It shifts certain things from important to unimportant. From a necessity to a luxury. Such as 8 hours sleep - it used to be the minimum sleep requirement but once a baby is in the house, 8 hours sleep STRAIGHT is nothing short of a miracle deserving of a Facebook announcement.
Tony is 7 now, and I still haven't got this parenting thing down pat. But I love the 'opposites' that have taken place since Tony and Carter came along.
A quiet weekend. Pre-kids a quiet weekend was boring. It meant you were wasting those precious days off work. A quiet weekend felt like a failure. As a Mother, quiet weekends are precious. Once I had children I became excited when we have a quiet weekend.
Shopping. Why in heavens does anyone ENJOY shopping??? I do recall sometime ago, back when I had my sanity, I used to actually CHOOSE to go shopping for fun! But now I shop for groceries, birthday presents, winter clothes, new school shoes, child neurofen, and countless handballs to replace the ones that end up on the school roof at recess time. I DO NOT enjoy window shopping anymore. Why would I when I could be at home on the couch watching Ellen?
This brings me to my choice of clothes. I was never particularly stylish, but I did try and make SOME effort. I still try and at least appear decent, but I'm not gonna lie - I do look at certain clothes and wonder;
"Can I get away with going bra-less under this? Would anyone know if I just wore this over the top of my pajamas? Will food smears and boogas be camouflaged?"
Dining out. Ah I can't tell if it was real or a dream but food was once a social thing. You enjoyed eating new foods and scanned the menu freely milling over all the tasty sounding option. My choice of a restaurant is now one that has a kids play area that I can supervise without getting up from my seat and re-fills for the echildren (heaven knows they wont eat their meal but they will certainly drink their weight in drink). I know eating with children means their attention span clocks start ticking the second you walk through the door so I check the menu online to save time and of course the all important instructions to the waiter;
"Just bring it out as its ready. I don't care if dessert comes first and I end up with soup and a side plate of fries at the end, just bring it as its ready."
Handbag size. A cute, girlie little handbag was once something to show off. Other female friends admired such a purchase. Of course you couldn't really carry anything aside from a credit card and lip gloss.....but look how cute! Even though I 'technically' am not in need of a nappy bag these days, my handbag has pretty much taken over the job. If it doesn't resemble the bag Mary Poppins had, it's useless to me. On any given day you could check in my handbag and find my wallet, keys, diary, 11 pens, gum, a muesli bar, tweezers, a banana, lollipops, 99 bobby pins, a sandwich, wipes, tissues, floss, hand sanitizer, toy cars .... You get the picture. I am going to take this opportunity to brag and tell you I ALWAYS win the handbag game at Bridal Showers. It's my shining moment! Pre-children you go for cute little handbags, post-children it's a case of the bigger the better.
And of course this opposites game affects your sleep. Not just that you once gots some and now you don't, but your sleep patterns. I recall a time when it was great staying up late. Fun stuff happened late. If there was a dance or party on that started at 8pm, it was vital to not show up til about 10pm because it wasn't fun yet. You stayed up late and simply slept late the next morning to make up for it. But no longer! A sleep in is 7am. To make up for this lack of sleep, I have, like many Mothers, resorted to adding those extra much-needed hours of sleep to the evening instead. Once my boys are in bed, I'm in bed. Normally by 8pm - I kid you not. I even make sure I am in my pajamas about 5pm so I don't have to waste precious sleep time getting changed. Any social event I go to, I am mindful of the clock. Once it hits 9:30pm, I turn into Cinderella trying to get home before midnight. My mental clock is counting down how many hours of sleep I will get if I go to bed much later. I know,
I know, I am extremely lame!
You see though. It's not just little changes to your life - in many cases it is a complete 360. Becoming a mother has changed my life in such a way that no other decision can even come close. It's not glamorous or easy, but boy do I love it! I am so thankful I get to be the mother of my two precious monkeys - they make my world brighter than I ever thought it could be.
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