A little bit of love

Yesterday being Valentines Day, it only seems appropriate that I base this post on something soppy and lovey-dovey.

I have 3 Valentines. 

My first - Anthony - wasn't here most of Valentines Day. He had been on a Year 7 camp the past few days. I purposely kept the days he was away extra quiet so it wouldn't be a big strain on me.  Even though he was only gone less that 72 hours, I really missed him.  I am very aware that we live in a world that finds difficulty in sustaining long term love and particularly marriage. This is why I feel so blessed to have no doubts in how I feel about my husband. Although I wasn't looking forward to his being gone, it reminded me of how much I love him and his presence in our home. Every time I saw my phone ringing with his name across the screen, it made my heart jump the same way it did a decade ago when we were dating. The five minute conversations here and there were the highlight of my past 3 days. 

My second Valentine is Tony. Tony is sometimes described as 'shy' by many who know him. He can be, but he is also willing to put himself out there at times in ways that I would be too scared to.  He asked me on Thursday night if he could make a Valentines card for a girl in his class. I would have thought he would be way too embarrassed to even consider doing this. But he sat and coloured a heart shaped card and wrote a message inside and stuck it to a packet of lollies. 

As he packed it into his bag the next morning, I was secretly hoping he wouldn't be teased as I know some 8 year old boys still aren't too keen on girls.

At school pick up I couldn't wait to hear how he went. As soon as I saw Tony I quietly asked him if he gave his card. He shrugged his shoulders and said the little girl was away. After psyching himself up, she wasn't even there! He then said he will just keep it in his bag and give it to her Monday.  My boy has guts!

My littlest Valentine treats everyday like Valentines Day. Carter is BIG on love. He very proudly presented us with the Valentines Day card he made addressed to his 'family' and stick it on our fridge. 

Earlier that week, there was an 'event' I must share with you. At school drop off, the yard around the Kindergarten classrooms are packed with parents. When the bell rings, the children all line up at their class door and we say our farewells before leaving the school gates to enjoy 6 hours of freedom. 

After Carter had gone in, I turned to leave and heard his little voice calling out to me. I turned to see him running towards me. He said;

"Wait Mum, I didn't give you a kiss yet!"

Whilst this was completely untrue as I had just kissed him goodbye less that 2 minutes ago, I obliged as who doesn't want more kisses from such a cutie?

I got a little more than I bargained for. In full view of the hoards of Kindergarten parents, teachers, and children, Carter threw his arms around my neck a planted one on me! I'm not talking a good old peck, I'm talking a wet mushy kiss with his head moving from side to side and his eyes wide open just centimetres from mine. The exact same kind of kiss I caught him practicing on his bedroom mirror last week. I literally had to pry his hands from around my neck and wipe his saliva from my face.

So I am now going to be known as THAT mother. The one who had her Kindergarten son pash her in the school yard!

Happy Valentines Day!!!

The day of reckoning

It's here! 

We have talked about this day non-stop for months now.....and it's arrived. 

My baby starts his first day of Big School today. Mr Tarts is all set and ready, but I don't know if I am. 

If you asked me six months ago, I would have told you I was looking forward to our big baby starting school. Some days it couldn't come fast enough. 

But here we are and I am nervous, but more sad. I'm losing my little buddy.  Who will I dress up in my wedding dress and do fake weddings with? Who will drive me crazy in the supermarket asking for lollipops? Who will ask me about the colour of my bra in the choc-a-block doctors waiting room?

We have been through this before with Tony, but having a 2 year old at home still made me feel better about it all. Now I feel a little lost. 

Mothers of older children always tell young mothers who are pulling their hair out with little ones to 'treasure' these moments as they won't last forever. I thought these women had developed early onset dementia (likely delayed onset) as a result of years of watching childrens programs and living with toddlers on no sleep. 

Turns out I am an idiot! 

Today, I wish I could wind the clock back a bit. If I knew how I would feel today, I would smack myself in the head and tell myself that there is truth to those words; 

"Treasure these moments, before you know it they will be gone."

I guess from the hours of 8:55am til 2:55pm, I won't be the main woman in Carter's life anymore. He has a lovely teacher, but I will miss being the Sandy to his Danny, the Gabriella to his Troy, the Catwoman to his Batman. 

Point Clare Public School is getting a good one! In fact in my opinion, they have two of the best. 

Sneaky sneaky boy

Anthony and I realised just a couple of months ago that Tony's days as a 'Santa Believer ' are numbered now that he is eight. He was in a Year 2/3 class this past year, and being in a class with older children, we knew that come Christmas, the discussion of Santa would likely come up amongst his classmates. We sadly realised this Christmas could be the last before he 'knows'.

I feel that as soon as he asks outright, we should tell him from now on, but until that happens, my lips are sealed and I'm a happy woman. 

There hasn't been too many expressions of doubt from Tony and I thought we were in the clear as December approached. Tony's class even wrote and posted letters to Santa (for those who wanted to).  Tony asked me for a stamp to take to school so I knew he had written one. 

A couple of days later, I got a message from a friend who works at Tony's school and whose son is Tony's best friend.  She thankfully gets the inside scoop and gave me the heads up about some rather important information regarding Tony's letter to Santa. 

Tony had asked Santa to ring a bell when he comes on Christmaa Eve to let him know he was real.  His plan was to not tell his Mum and Dad, so that he could use this to test Santa's validity by whether or not there was a bell rung or not. 

Sneaky sneaky boy!!  

Thanks to the heads up we received, we were able to make a plan to keep the magic alive at least another year. 

Come Christmas morning, the boys awoke and we all gathered together to open our gifts.  Tony did not mention not hearing a bell at all. 

One of his last gifts was small and we eagerly watched him unwrap a red bell and a letter from Santa. The letter explained that Santa didn't want to wake him at night when he came, so instead he wanted to give him a bell to hang on his door to remind Tony of him. 

Tony was so thrilled and then told us that he and an older boy were debating the existance of Santa and when Tony said he believed in Santa, the boy asked him to prove it. Tony came up with this bell plan to put it all to the test and said he couldn't wait to tell his class mate what had happened. 

I know the time will come soon where the truth will be discovered, it's all part of growing up. But until then, I love that my children have such belief in human goodness. They accept that someone would make toys for children they have no relation to and spend every day of every year working to bring joy to others with no request for anything in return.  Acceptance of such a concept in the world we live in is magical in itself. 

I know our Santa days are numbered for Tony, but at least for now, there is a bell hanging on Tony's door :)

Just a little bit precious

I am not a very good swimmer. I CAN swim. I am certainly capable of saving myself if I needed to, but I'm just not very good at swimming. I think this is in part due to my dislike of swimming. It's just such a hassle! All the getting changed, sunscreen and sand, chlorine and ear plugs, and trying to peel off wet clothes, then put on dry clothes inconspicuously whilst still a bit wet (it's like trying to get dressed after being covered in glue). 

I don't think I'm a particularly girly-girl, but when it comes to swimming, I get a bit precious. I MUST wash my hair after swimming. It doesn't matter where I am or who is around, I need to properly wash my hair after swimming. I'm not talking a good rinse with clean water; I'm talking shampoo, conditioner, and a comb. I'm not even embarrassed to admit that when we go to the beach, I stand at the outdoor shower (where people have a quick rinse or wash off their boards) and I wash my hair and leave with a big puddle of suds behind me. 

I just hate the feeling of sand or chlorine in my hair. Or on my skin for that matter. I also must bring moisturiser with me to apply immediately post-swim. 

See - precious. 

It seems somewhat cruel that it has been recommended much of my life to swim. For my back, to strengthen my core muscle, to build leg muscle, blah blah blah. And swim I have! But very reluctantly. In more recent days, my swimming advice has continued, but I am mainly restricted to walking in the water as there is less twisting motion. This pleases me greatly as there is less hair-wetting opportunity. I have still, however, not taken to the water as much as probably should. 

I'm not really big on New Years. I LOVE Christmas, but New Years doesn't mean all that much to me. Seeing so many Facebook friends comment on their reflections of 2013 did cause me to do a little reflecting of my own though. Like most years, there was joy, pain, growth, sadness, and fun. 

Some moments this past year remind me of treading water. Just kind of keeping my head above water, but not really going anywhere. Treading water is necessary sometimes. It can be a life-saver. Some moments of 2013, I absolutely needed to just stop and tread water so I could catch my breath and stop from going under. 

Other times I was just treading water because it was easier, or I lacked the motivation to really swim. 

I learnt a really valuable lesson early in 2013 that I have mentioned previously (sorry for all who have read it already).  I was in a sullen state post-surgery in February and feeling pretty sorry for myself. Mainly over having to go through surgeries more than I would like. I was just treading water I guess. But late one night in hospital, after a brief-but-tough physio session, I suddenly realised I had so much control over my situation and I could make the decision to endure the trial as best I could.  I was desperate to get through the recovery phase and needed to really swim and push myself in the direction I wanted to be.  

This lesson has been a standout moment of 2013 for me in my own personal growth.  I have learnt that when I find myself in a position that is undesirable to me, instead of just treading water and staying there, I can muster all my strength and swim with all my might to calmer waters. 

Of course there were times later in the year where I got lax in life and at times realised I was just doing Doggy-Paddle and likely just going round in circles instead of focusing on my goal.  This is what New Years brings I guess. A chance to re-focus on our goals. Yes, it can be done anytime really, but our attention is particularly drawn to our goals as January 1st draws near. 

My 'goal' this year, is to swim more and tread water less....and definitely not drown:)

The Bush boys are free!

It's school holidays!!!! Thank goodness. The last few weeks of school/preschool are always busy but this year it was extra busy with Carter having two pre-school 'graduations' as well as a Christmas concert instead of just the one Christmas party.

 Tony has just completed Year 2 and had a rather busy final 2 weeks himself. He was awarded a Citizenship Award at the Presentation Assembly. This award pretty much sums up Tony's school attitude perfectly. He follows the rules and wants to do well. We are so proud of his efforts this year and know he is thrilled to be on holidays as he gets extra free time to play the new video games he got for his birthday. He is great company and asked if he and I could go on a 'date'. I gave him a big, fat "YES!". 

Carter is taking the big step of starting school next year. He is mighty excited. Anthony and I used to have some concerns about Carter getting 'walked over' by other children. He is confident around adults, but from what we had seen, he is more of a push over around children closer to his own age. I remember seeing him at the park a while back and he was able to hold his own with toddler age kids, but as soon as a boy his own age gave him a push and told him he can't go down the slide, he just looked at the boy like he couldn't understand why he would be so mean. 

I think preschool helped and whilst he doesn't retaliate or hit other children (thankfully), I was hoping he would learn to stand up for himself.  

I can tell you he has. A bit too much.

At his pre-school graduation last Thursday, the children all had some free play whilst everyone was arriving. From across the playground, I could see Carter wanted to play in the cubby house but two younger children were blocking the doorway and wouldn't let anyone else in. Carter sought out the children's mother, brought her over to the cubby house and reported what was happening. 

I was quite pleased that he handled himself in such a manner, even if he had resorted to 'dobbing'.

Later he found a ball and was playing with it. I was talking to one of the teachers and could see him playing but a few minutes later he was no longer in my sight. I went for a wander to find him and spotted what looked like his shorts behind some bushes. I walked around to see two older boys (about 10) walking away from Carter. I just knew there had been some kind of confrontation and went to ask Carter if he was ok. I asked him what happened and he said;

"Those big boys were trying to take this ball. I want to play soccer with it. They were trying to be bullies to me."

I, of course , was concerned about my 5 year old bring confronted by two older boys and I crouched down and said;

"Are you okay sweetheart? You still have your ball there, did you ask them to let you play with it?"

With all the confidence in the world, Carter replied ;

"No. I just said 'get lost you big losers and leave me alone!'"

I'm not so pleased with how he handled this situation. Well....maybe secretly a little pleased.

Smarty pants

Anthony and I, we are raising men. At least we are trying to.  I know it sounds more correct to say we are raising boys, but we arent raising them to be boys, we are raising them to be men - we are just still in the early stages of our quest. 

A few weeks back, I wasn't feeling so crash hot. Sunday morning we woke up for church and I was supposed to be teaching a youth Sunday School class. I felt rotten and Anthony insisted I stay home and he would take the boys to church and teach my class for me. To be honest, he would actually be doing my class a favour as he teaches much better than me.  

He got our little men ready and they left waving goodbye and blowing me kisses. I waved goodbye back from the doorway shouting one last;

"Be good for Daddy!!"

The shoe has been on the other foot before and I was the one taking the boys solo and after a big pep talk telling them I needed them to be extra good, they shocked me and were fantastic. I was certain this was one of those once-off miracles.

When they all returned home a few hours later, I tentatively asked how the boys were. Anthony told me they were wonderful. Knowing them too well, I asked what he had bribed them with. Anthony said they had had a chat in the car about behaving well. He expanded upon this by explaining to Tony and Carter that by being reverent at church, they were doing the right thing and the best reason for doing the right thing is simply because it's the right thing to do. 

Even though they are 8 and 5, they were able to comprehend this idea that you don't make the right choice out of fear of punishment, or because you want a treat, or because you are following someone else.  You do the right thing BECAUSE it's the right thing to do. 

Raising men can be a little overwhelming, but I'm pretty fortunate to have a smarty-pants along side me to help.  He teaches them to be the kind of men I want them to be.

Getting in the spirit

I love December, mainly because I love Christmas. I don't love the stress that comes with December though. There are so many events on that normally we have to miss some as they clash with others. The shopping centre car park fills up by 9:30am and I make sure I am there by then so I can leave by 11am to escape the rush and get home and have a rest. It just gets so hectic. 

I still love this time of year more than any other though. It's exciting, and magical, and full of family, friends, and most importantly - food. 

Perhaps the best part of Christmas is that whilst we remember the birth of Christ, we are able to witness a generous spirit taking over people's hearts. It's a time where on mass, people are more concerned with giving than receiving. That's pretty cool. 

For me though, I haven't had to wait til December rolled around to witness acts of generosity in my life.  This year, I cannot name all the kindness that has been shown to myself and my family. Whether it has been kind thoughts and words, acts of service, time given, or needed gifts of a more material nature; I have been very blessed this year.  Early this year was tough for me physically and my family in terms of dealing with the change to our everyday life.  We received so much love and support through this time.  Throughout the rest of the year, as my health improved and we had other things pop up (as they always do in life), we continued to be touched by the kind hearts of the people in our lives.  I hope all these people who have blessed our lives so much know who they are.

One of the big blessings and lessons learned through trials, is the love shown to us. Perhaps people reach out to us more during difficult times, or perhaps we recognise it better because we are praying for and searching for help to carry us through, but whatever the reason, my own situation had allowed me to time and time again see how much goodness there is in the world.  

This Christmas season is no different from any other year in how excited I am to celebrate with those I care about, but this year I don't feel like I have had to wait til December to see the spirit of love and giving - I  blessed to have many in my life who possess this spirit all year around. 

On a different note; I took Carter to see Santa earlier this week. He obliged with the sitting on the lap routine and hurried his way through the small talk.  He saw the child before him got a lollipop at the end and I know that was all he had on his brain from that moment onwards. 

Carter has a tendency to ask for some odd Christmas gifts which can make Santa's job a little tough. Last year he wanted an American football helmet.  

 When Santa asked him what he wanted this year, I made sure I listened closely. 

His request.....ICE SKATES!!!

Firstly, where does he plan on wearing these skates that he feels he needs to OWN a pair?

And secondly, for a boy who is always covered in bruises and regularly trips over absolutely nothing, ice skates don't seem like the wisest choice to me. 

Christmas morning is bound to be interesting.