The Bush boys are free!

It's school holidays!!!! Thank goodness. The last few weeks of school/preschool are always busy but this year it was extra busy with Carter having two pre-school 'graduations' as well as a Christmas concert instead of just the one Christmas party.

 Tony has just completed Year 2 and had a rather busy final 2 weeks himself. He was awarded a Citizenship Award at the Presentation Assembly. This award pretty much sums up Tony's school attitude perfectly. He follows the rules and wants to do well. We are so proud of his efforts this year and know he is thrilled to be on holidays as he gets extra free time to play the new video games he got for his birthday. He is great company and asked if he and I could go on a 'date'. I gave him a big, fat "YES!". 

Carter is taking the big step of starting school next year. He is mighty excited. Anthony and I used to have some concerns about Carter getting 'walked over' by other children. He is confident around adults, but from what we had seen, he is more of a push over around children closer to his own age. I remember seeing him at the park a while back and he was able to hold his own with toddler age kids, but as soon as a boy his own age gave him a push and told him he can't go down the slide, he just looked at the boy like he couldn't understand why he would be so mean. 

I think preschool helped and whilst he doesn't retaliate or hit other children (thankfully), I was hoping he would learn to stand up for himself.  

I can tell you he has. A bit too much.

At his pre-school graduation last Thursday, the children all had some free play whilst everyone was arriving. From across the playground, I could see Carter wanted to play in the cubby house but two younger children were blocking the doorway and wouldn't let anyone else in. Carter sought out the children's mother, brought her over to the cubby house and reported what was happening. 

I was quite pleased that he handled himself in such a manner, even if he had resorted to 'dobbing'.

Later he found a ball and was playing with it. I was talking to one of the teachers and could see him playing but a few minutes later he was no longer in my sight. I went for a wander to find him and spotted what looked like his shorts behind some bushes. I walked around to see two older boys (about 10) walking away from Carter. I just knew there had been some kind of confrontation and went to ask Carter if he was ok. I asked him what happened and he said;

"Those big boys were trying to take this ball. I want to play soccer with it. They were trying to be bullies to me."

I, of course , was concerned about my 5 year old bring confronted by two older boys and I crouched down and said;

"Are you okay sweetheart? You still have your ball there, did you ask them to let you play with it?"

With all the confidence in the world, Carter replied ;

"No. I just said 'get lost you big losers and leave me alone!'"

I'm not so pleased with how he handled this situation. Well....maybe secretly a little pleased.

Smarty pants

Anthony and I, we are raising men. At least we are trying to.  I know it sounds more correct to say we are raising boys, but we arent raising them to be boys, we are raising them to be men - we are just still in the early stages of our quest. 

A few weeks back, I wasn't feeling so crash hot. Sunday morning we woke up for church and I was supposed to be teaching a youth Sunday School class. I felt rotten and Anthony insisted I stay home and he would take the boys to church and teach my class for me. To be honest, he would actually be doing my class a favour as he teaches much better than me.  

He got our little men ready and they left waving goodbye and blowing me kisses. I waved goodbye back from the doorway shouting one last;

"Be good for Daddy!!"

The shoe has been on the other foot before and I was the one taking the boys solo and after a big pep talk telling them I needed them to be extra good, they shocked me and were fantastic. I was certain this was one of those once-off miracles.

When they all returned home a few hours later, I tentatively asked how the boys were. Anthony told me they were wonderful. Knowing them too well, I asked what he had bribed them with. Anthony said they had had a chat in the car about behaving well. He expanded upon this by explaining to Tony and Carter that by being reverent at church, they were doing the right thing and the best reason for doing the right thing is simply because it's the right thing to do. 

Even though they are 8 and 5, they were able to comprehend this idea that you don't make the right choice out of fear of punishment, or because you want a treat, or because you are following someone else.  You do the right thing BECAUSE it's the right thing to do. 

Raising men can be a little overwhelming, but I'm pretty fortunate to have a smarty-pants along side me to help.  He teaches them to be the kind of men I want them to be.

Getting in the spirit

I love December, mainly because I love Christmas. I don't love the stress that comes with December though. There are so many events on that normally we have to miss some as they clash with others. The shopping centre car park fills up by 9:30am and I make sure I am there by then so I can leave by 11am to escape the rush and get home and have a rest. It just gets so hectic. 

I still love this time of year more than any other though. It's exciting, and magical, and full of family, friends, and most importantly - food. 

Perhaps the best part of Christmas is that whilst we remember the birth of Christ, we are able to witness a generous spirit taking over people's hearts. It's a time where on mass, people are more concerned with giving than receiving. That's pretty cool. 

For me though, I haven't had to wait til December rolled around to witness acts of generosity in my life.  This year, I cannot name all the kindness that has been shown to myself and my family. Whether it has been kind thoughts and words, acts of service, time given, or needed gifts of a more material nature; I have been very blessed this year.  Early this year was tough for me physically and my family in terms of dealing with the change to our everyday life.  We received so much love and support through this time.  Throughout the rest of the year, as my health improved and we had other things pop up (as they always do in life), we continued to be touched by the kind hearts of the people in our lives.  I hope all these people who have blessed our lives so much know who they are.

One of the big blessings and lessons learned through trials, is the love shown to us. Perhaps people reach out to us more during difficult times, or perhaps we recognise it better because we are praying for and searching for help to carry us through, but whatever the reason, my own situation had allowed me to time and time again see how much goodness there is in the world.  

This Christmas season is no different from any other year in how excited I am to celebrate with those I care about, but this year I don't feel like I have had to wait til December to see the spirit of love and giving - I  blessed to have many in my life who possess this spirit all year around. 

On a different note; I took Carter to see Santa earlier this week. He obliged with the sitting on the lap routine and hurried his way through the small talk.  He saw the child before him got a lollipop at the end and I know that was all he had on his brain from that moment onwards. 

Carter has a tendency to ask for some odd Christmas gifts which can make Santa's job a little tough. Last year he wanted an American football helmet.  

 When Santa asked him what he wanted this year, I made sure I listened closely. 

His request.....ICE SKATES!!!

Firstly, where does he plan on wearing these skates that he feels he needs to OWN a pair?

And secondly, for a boy who is always covered in bruises and regularly trips over absolutely nothing, ice skates don't seem like the wisest choice to me. 

Christmas morning is bound to be interesting. 

It's great to be eight

In less than one hour, my big boy Tony will be eight. While we were looking through some of his photos for his baptism program, we came across a few from when he had a head full or curls. I forget his hair used to be like that. 

When he was a baby, I thought I could never forget any detail about him. He was our world. I think we literally spent hours every day just studying every one of his features. 

 But it's as if I looked away for a second, and all of a sudden we are here with an eight year old! 

It's quite incredible to be able to witness a human being grow before your very eyes. I love the person Tony is becoming. 

He is smart, and kind, and funny. He is a bit shy upon meeting someone, but then makes friends very easily. When he is excited, it shows on his whole body - he just can't contain himself. He is a big believer in doing the right thing and will stand up for his convictions, even if it means standing alone. 

He makes our family complete. 

Tony woke up early this morning excited as it was his 'birthday eve'. He jumped into bed next to me and we planned what colour cookies he would take to school on his birthday.  I asked if his class sings 'Happy Birthday' when it's someone's birthday. He said they did, and went on to say;

"Yeah, and they do the sausage part too".

Obviously I said;

"Huh?"

To which he replied;

"You know, at the end if the 'Happy Birthday' song, there is the sausage bit that people sing sometimes?"

My blank expression inspired him to sing it for me (with a very serious face);

"For he's a jolly good fellow, 

For he's a jolly good fellow,

For he's a jolly good fellow, 

And sausage on a bus."

It was the perfect start to my day :)

Happy Birthday Tony Bones - we are so proud to call you our son xx

A parenting win

My two boys have very different personalities. I believe that when it comes to the nature vs nurture debate, it's a little naive to believe it comes down to nature OR nurture. You only have to look at families with more than one child to realise children come with their own personalities. They just arrive that way.

Nurture has an enormous role to play too.  The experiences of a child in their early years of life lay the foundation for how they will view themselves and the world. Their experiences in life, particularly within their immediate family, influence them, but some qualities just seem ingrained. 

Due to how they have been raised, I see similarities in my boys. They laugh at the same jokes and enjoy the same sorts of foods. But I also see so many differences. Tony is quite shy upon first meeting people, and Carter is confident. 

Tony tries to do the right thing and aims to please, whereas Carter marches to the beat of his own drum. They are both such beautiful individuals who we adore. 

The thing is, because they are different, it can at times make me wonder about whether or not my own parenting style suits them. I hope it does. I find we are bombarded with such an enormous range of parenting advice nowadays. Each new trend in parenting seems to contradict last weeks parenting trend. It's confusing!

The crux of what most parents what is for their child to be safe, happy, and loved. 

There are multiple "I love you"s said in our house every day. I have noticed we say it freely, perhaps even without thinking at times, but this doesn't take away from the fact we truly mean it. 

As Carter left my bedroom a few days ago, without thinking I said;

"Thanks Tarts. I love you."

To which he replied;

"I know Mum. I always know that."

It was just a casual remark to him, but days have passed and I realise now the importance of his comment. He knows he is loved. I may not always feel like the best parent, but this is one area I feel like we have done something right. 

Just fine

Earlier this week, I was able to catch up with a good friend of mine that I haven't seen for a while.  She is someone who you don't have to know well to like her a lot. If the truth be told, I was somewhat intimidated by her when I first met her. She is so beautiful and bubbly and a fantastic mother. She has qualities I admire. Upon getting to know her, I learned how kind and compassionate she is.  

I haven't had much of a social life lately as my back limits my activity. I'm ok with this most of the time as I want to be able to care for my family and reserve my energy to be able to do that.

However, being able to spend time with my friend reminded me how much I missed her. Being able to catch up with her and chat helped me remember something that I needed to be reminded of.

I believe that we lived with God before we came to earth. I also believe that is where we will return when we die. I know not everyone shares my beliefs, but hopefully if you know me, you know I am a Christian so this likely won't surprise you.

I believe that we were excited to come to earth and that like an earthly father would before saying farewell to their child going on a long journey, we had a "chat" with our Heavenly Father. I can't say for certain, but I think He would have told us about some of the challenges we would face in the world. I think for me, it would have been my physical challenges and the disappointment at not being able to function as I would like that would have been part of that conversation. 

I feel that I would have said something on the lines of;

"It's ok, I know it will be difficult but I can do it.  Don't worry about me, I will be just fine."

Some days I don't feel "just fine" and I really needed to be reminded of my beliefs that the challenges I face are temporary - they will only affect me in mortality. 

Since our visit, I feel more at peace. She won't know how thankful I am to her for making time to hang out with me. I am grateful for a good friend who let me talk her ear off so I could remind myself that provided I do all I am capable of, I will be "just fine".  

Tarts and Bones

I have a snoring little Carter next to me. He wasn't feeling well and wanted to sleep next to me. He asked so nicely that it wasn't possible to say "no ".

In the next room Tony is lying in Carter's bed playing a game.  Today he came to me and discussed some things of a sensitive nature with me. It was so sweet and I felt so grateful that he felt that he could come to me and talk about it in such a mature manner. It wasn't anything major at all, but it was important enough to him.

As I am writing, Carter has flopped his arm over me. He is actually pretty warm despite having had Neurofen, but I don't want to move him as he looks so darn cute! 

People always tell you you won't believe how much love you have til you have children. I think you can surprise yourself with how much you can love anyone/anything, whether it be a relationship, a pet, a friend etc, but I also understand the child thing. 

I'm not a big big crier, but there is something about watching your child that can bring tears to my eyes. I don't even know why!! They aren't happy tears, or sad tears, they are tears that just come from nowhere.  It's like you are filled with emotion that just has to get out somehow...and it seems the eyes are a good place.

I often think about what it is about your own child  that brings such strong emotions.  They are a lot of work and can be very demanding at times, but there is nothing I wouldn't do for my boys.  

It's like commencing a project. You take it on not entirely sure of the outcome, but go for it anyway. The project of having a child takes all your blood, sweat, and tears and quite honestly, it will never be finished.  But throughout the process, you get to stand back (or in my case lie next to) and marvel at what your work has accomplished.  When you are working at it day after day, you are sometimes too close to really appreciate how much work has been put in and how far your project has come, but now and again (when your project is asleep and can't run way from you), you get to see the big picture coming together. 

I think this is the overwhelming feeling that comes over me.  

The connection with your child is unexplainable really, but how could you not feel an amazing bond to something that holds a piece of you.