Mr. Tarts turns seven

Our boys have such differing natures.  Carter likes the spotlight, and Tony likes the peace and quiet.  They just came that way.  We love the dynamic they bring to our family with their individuality.  

Today, is our big baby's special day.  He is 7 years old.  He has been counting down to this day for quite some time now and it's finally here (thank goodness). 

Anyone who knows Carter will know what a character he is.  He feels emotion to the highest degree.  Perhaps it's part of his disability, or perhaps it's just who he is - I don't know.  If he wants to give you a kiss, he doesn't just give you a peck on the cheek, he throws his arms around your neck and really plants one on you - teeth and all.  If he is sad, it isn't just a few rolling tears, it's a soap opera.  

Days with Carter are both hard, and full of joy.  He hasn't had it easy from the get-go.  Nothing comes easy for him.  Watching other children learn to hold a pencil, colour in, write their name, or dress themselves is like us in Australia learning English.  It takes some effort, but being immersed in it makes makes it seem almost natural.  For Carter, it's like learning a foreign language.  A different language each time he needs to learn a new skill.  It's hard work and it's constant. 

But his enthusiasm for life means he doesn't give up.  He keeps on working.  We have tantrums, and we have great success.  I know any parent of a child with special needs will understand this. 

There are some gifts that do seem just ingrained in Carter though.  He never had to learn these things. He is incredibly generous.  He will share everything he has, even if it means forcing it on you.  He loves to help if it means making someone else's life easier.  He has a compassionate nature that is far beyond his years.  And my favourite, he simply loves people.  He loves to talk to people at the train station, at the supermarket, in the doctors waiting room, people serving us at the cash register, and our personal favourite - telemarketers!  He genuinely enjoys getting to know someone.

I am already a life-time's worth of proud of our spunky little dude, but can't wait to see what's ahead for him.  

Happy Birthday Mr. Tarts

Those four letter words

Two weeks ago, Carter discovered some rather 'colourful' language and shared said discovery at a very inappropriate moment.  

Parenting is an embarrassing experience.  It's wonderful, but it's utterly humiliating at times.  My logical side knows children come with their own little personalities and quirks, but they are also an extension of their parents in many ways and so when something embarrassing happens, I feel that humiliation 100%.  

Carter is a music lover and enjoys watching his favourite songs on YouTube at times.  Lately, it's been watching old Wiggles songs.  Two years ago he was a big Wiggles fan but that had tapered off.  He recently stumbled upon a Wiggles clip and it unleashed the floodgates of Wiggles videos into our house yet again.  Unfortunately, there are some weirdos out there who think it's amusing to make up Wiggles videos and adding in a variety of swear words - words we thus far haven't heard from our children's mouths. 

Go back a fortnight and we were at church.  It was all finished and it was time to go home. As we were getting ready to head off to the car, Carter expressed he wanted to keep playing with the other children and ran off.  Anthony followed him into the crowded foyer and managed to grab hold of his hand and told him it was time to go. Carter turned around and yelled out:

"Let go of me, you d***!"

Did I mention the foyer was crowded??

When pressed as to where he had heard such a word, Carter though about it and said:

"Ummmm.... I think it was Jesus."

Now I have my concerns at times about how Carter will do academically and what his future holds, but then I see how clever and crafty he is on his feet and a wave of pride washes over me.  

I just wish it wasn't over his lying about where he heard such inappropriate language and placing the blame on Jesus!

We finally got it out of him that he heard it on a Wiggles video on YouTube.  He also followed this up with two other 'new' words that same day.  Between trying to stifle shocked giggles, Anthony and I were appalled! 

Thankfully such language has died down, but I have been waiting for the moment when his crankiness and impulsivity gets the better of him and he lets one slip out again.  

But, his love of police shows may have solved our problems. I watched an episode of Police Ten 7 with Carter as he loves police shows.  In this particular episode, three separate people were arrested for verbally assaulting the police officers.  Carter picked up that the 'bleeps' meant swearing and asked if they were arrested for swearing. I very slowly nodded and told him;

" Yes!  Yes!  They were arrested for swearing.  You are very lucky that no one called the police when you swore or that could happen to you.  I hope you won't be saying those words again."

Carter got a very serious look on his face and said;

"I won't say swear words again.  I will keep the peace cos I dont wanna go to the slammer!"

Thank you TV!!

A decade with my doofus

Ten years ago, Anthony and I were days away from getting married. There were lots of last minute details to attend to, and family who had travelled to spend time with.  It was all so exciting and surreal.  I was absolutely anticipating our "big day", but I was even more looking forward to a life with my best friend.  

During our engagement, we didn't really go out a whole lot.  Partly due to the fact we both worked full-time, but also we were just happy spending time at each other's houses, talking, playing cards, and of course eating.  This time gave me a good indication as to what married life would be like for us; just finding joy and contentment in being near each other.  

Right now, I am lying on our bed and Anthony is in the lounge room.  We have a wall between us as I type, but I feel complete because I know he is near me. Not to sound all "Jerry Maguire", but Anthony absolutely completes me.  I didn't NEED a man to complete me, it wasn't that sort of thing.  But Anthony is so much a part of me now that I don't feel like me without him.  

During our ten years of marriage, we have seen quite a few marriages break down.  It confirms to me even more that life doesn't always go as planned.  Things happen that strain relationships and weigh us down.  It's almost easy sometimes to see how it happens, but for us we have been blessed in that our struggles have brought us together and not divided us. In fact, I would actually go as far as to say we are not strong in spite of our trials, I believe we are strong because of those trials. 

I don't necessarily think we have endured more than anyone else, but I know we have faced our own dark moments.  We have had nearly non-stop health struggles with both myself and Carter.  I was reminded a few days ago that on our honeymoon I was so severely sun burnt I couldn't even have a sheet touch me.  I also had a nasty ear infection that left me vomiting a couple of days.  That should have been Anthony's warning sign of what was to come!  

The thing is, he has never once made me feel like I am a burden to him, or to 'us'.  He takes it all in his stride and gives me a feeling of security that I know he will be beside me in whatever comes.  

I don't believe people, or even marriage, are perfect, but in some strange way, I believe love in itself CAN be perfect. 

When we are tired and cranky and snappy, I know we still love each other.  

When we are crazy busy and like passing ships at times, I know we still love each other and that even though we aren't in each other's presence, we are in each other's thoughts and hearts.  

When Anthony achieves something wonderful, I feel like it's happened to me.

On those occasions when we do have a fight, I still know underneath whatever is bugging us, everything is stable and fine and I am very loved.

We have seen each other ill, exhausted, unkept, unshowered and still see something beautiful.

We randomly come home from the shops with the others' favourite treat just to bring a smile.  

We both have quirks that drive the other nuts and push all the right buttons, but we still love each other.

These are the realities of marriage, and I have found in marriage you can experience a perfect type of love, and that's pretty incredible.  I know it's not a lifetime, but we are a decade in and I have never been happier thanks to my sweetheart, my best friend, my doofus, and my heart.

Happy 10th Anniversary my sweetheart.

I got a good one! 

 

(Big thank you to Tim Coulson for his time and talent) 

Playground showdown

Our boys are like chalk and cheese.  They clash a lot!  I know this is pretty common in siblings.  I remember 'clicking' better with different siblings at different times, but being one of six, if one was annoying me I had four others to go hang out with.  With just the two of them, our boys don't have that luxury - it's either get along or play with yourself (not in THAT way - get your mind out of the gutter!). 

Despite their near constant squabbling, we get glimpses every now and again of the bond that lays beneath the pestering and teasing.  Like when we ask who they want to invite to their birthdays and they say each other right near the top of the list.  

Today something a little sad happened after school, but it brought me so much joy.  

We live right next to a park that has two other cauldersacks that join onto it.  Often different neighbours kids are there playing with one another.  Some we know, some not so much.  

This afternoon some kids came knocking at our door asking if Tony and Carter were allowed to come play.  Before I could say "yes", they were already out the door.

About twenty minutes later they were back.  Tony came in the door first and I asked if they had fun.  He seemed angry and said;

"No!  Because some of those kids are stupid idiots!"

I pressed him to find out why he was so angry and he burst into tears and said;

"Some of them were being mean to Carter.  They had his ball and he was asking for it back but they just kept passing it to each other."

He was really sobbing and it made me both sad and happy at the same time to see how much he cares about his little brother.  

Some of the other kids were being kind and standing up for Carter, but Tony said they still wouldn't give the ball back so after trying verbally to get them to do the right thing, he went and gave one of the bullies a shove.  One of the older bullies told Tony if he shoved the boy again he would get Tony back twice as hard.  Tony admitted he was scared but stepped forward to hold his ground and show he wasn't backing down and they soon went home.  

Tony is rather timid socially and doesn't like confrontation so even though I don't condone violence, I was happy to let this slide and even mentally cheered.  

When it comes to siblings, those bonds are strong.  They have to be to withstand how stretched they are on a day-to-day basis with what we put each other through.  As much as we tease and torment our siblings, when anyone else even tries to do the same, there is no doubt where our loyalties lie.  Just try me. 

Nothing to hide

I want to be clear - I adore my children.  I adore them so much my heart hurts when I am away from them for a night.  I enjoy the freedom of being able to get done what I need to when they aren't there, but I really miss them the minute I see them drive away.  It's an annoying paradox of parenting - wanting/needing a break but missing your children like mad as soon as they are gone.

So just to set the record straight, I love my boys more than chocolate.  In fact, I love most kids.  I am a kid person.  

But I will also be honestt with you.  

Sometimes, kids can be annoying.  

Sometimes, I don't want to play their games because they bore me.

Sometimes, I don't want to share my chocolate with them because with children nothing is really yours alone; except the dishes, no one ever tried to take them from you.  

But they know when I sneak chocolate, they smell it on my breath like bloodhounds.  Sometimes I lie and tell then it's something else, but they know....they definitely know. 

Sometimes, I find myself yelling at my children to "STOP YELLING!"  Even as the words escape my mouth I realise how ludacris it is, but it's too late, I am already past the point of reason. But don't you dare try and tell me of my ludacrisy (a real word?) - or you may just have my wrath turned on you.  Your best bet is to just shove food in my mouth and retreat to a safe distance.  

Sometimes, I just make my kids noodles for dinner because I don't feel like working hard making a meal that I will have CONVINCE/FORCE/BRIBE my children to eat.  Some battles aren't worth my energy. 

Sometimes, I let my children stay up simply because I can't muster the energy to tuck them in (by stay up, I mean 8:30pm instead of 7 pm).  I know they will be tired and cranky the next day but I will deal with that then. 

Somedays, I send my boys to school with Fairybread for lunch and tell then to keep their sandwiches shut so others don't see they are virtually eating sugar on bread.  It's rare, but it happens. 

But most days I lie in bed thankful that despite my tired brain and aching muscles from a busy day, I get to be Mum again tomorrow.  Unless they want to play "guess the wrestling theme song" game again, then I might lock myself in the bathroom for half an hour to get away - I guess you can call it "being Dad".

It's just so cheesy

On Monday, I went to Aldi to grab a handful of items.  My handful had a few heavy items so I needed a trolley. I have one of those Aldi trolley coins on my key ring as I often don't have a dollar coin on me.  

When I went to put my little coin in, I saw the trolley I was getting already had one of the coins in the slot.  I took the trolley and completed my shopping.  At the register I told the attendant that I had found someone else's coin in a trolley.  She said I could just keep it as they get lots left in and if anyone asks for a forgotten one they already have a big collection they can give them one from.  

I know it's nothing huge, but it was one of those little blessings that put a smile on your face.  

After taking the groceries to the car, I went to return the trolley.  When I got there, there was an older gentleman who kindly asked did I have a dollar coin as he didn't have any but needed a trolley.  I told him I didn't have a coin, but I had a spare trolley coin that he could keep if he wanted.  He was very kind and appreciative of such a small gesture.

As I walked back to the car I couldn't help thinking with a cheesy chuckle:

"The Lord giveth....and The Lord taketh away."

Boys and bras

I want to tell you about a rather...ahem....delicate interest of our young Carter.  He is very interested in...my bra.  If he catches a glimpse of one lying around, it will inevitably disappear and be relocated - courtesy of Carter. 

It's not a fascination with what's contained INSIDE said bra (and in my case it's not much anyway), it's the actual bra itself. 

I have asked him about his interest in bras and with a shrug of his shoulders he states matter of factly;

"I just love them!"

When we are out, he publicly asks me what colour my bra is.  

He will also publicly ask to see my bra (I don't know why he bothers - the answer is ALWAYS no).

When he busts into our room while I am getting changed and I shoo him away, he often reminds me;

"Don't forget your bra Mum!"

Granted, the last example does serve a purpose as there are occasions where I do forget, but I think Carter isn't aiming to remind me - it's more a reflection of his fascination.  

Right as I type this, I have called Carter in and asked him why he likes bras so much - purely to gain insight into his crazy little mind.  His answer;

"Cos they're my favourite in the whole world."

Good heavens!  Are we in for a world of trouble or what!!!