Rats, ladders, and karma....oh my!

We have pet rats.  I know some people are repulsed by the little critters, but they are great little starter pets. I had pet rats growing up and they are very social and intelligent.  We got two boys and Tony named his Corey, and Carter named his Ambrose. You can train pet rats to do tricks, although so far we have only worked on coming when their name is called.  This trick has come in handy lately, but more on that later.

You know how sometimes seeing someone trip over is funny....you feel bad and concerned for them, but it's funny at the same time? Well YouTube has made laughing at others misfortune much easier and makes me look less like a jerk as it's not in public where I can be judged for laughing at others.  

However, KARMA is still judging me and last week took matters into her own hands.

Anthony showed me this silly little video and the first time I watched it, I chuckled.  But I watched it a couple more time and it had me cracking up. You have to see it a couple if times to appreciate it, and to appreciate my plight.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DlgYQwf1Pug

Fast forward a few days and Tony's rat Corey was missing. I went to feed them just after lunch and he was gone.  He has the amazing ability to escape from his cage no matter what I do. He squeezes through the bars, then when I get new mesh to cover the bars, he chews through it, then I get stronger mesh and he chews through the cable ties holding the mesh on. He generally just runs around the garage/rumpus room and there isn't far he can go so it hasn't been a big drama. 

But this time, I called out to him like I usually do and he didn't come running out to me from his assortment of hiding places. 

Tony was due home in an hour so I got to searching. Finally I had the idea to check the roof.  I didn't think it was likely, but what if he had climbed up the walls and got into the roof? We have a little man hole at the end of our hall so in the name of motherly-duty, I braced myself to go break the barrier between our home and whatever lies up in our roof - whether it be just dust and cobwebs or a whole colony of cockroaches I had no idea. 

I dragged our ladder from the shed and made it into a 'M' shape as I wanted two steady foot platforms instead of one.  I was all set and ready to go and stepped into the centre step of my ladder and quickly learned my ladder was not properly locked into place as it shut right on both my shins.  I couldn't move as my legs  were  trapped inside the closed ladder whilst I was still up off the ground. Aside from the pain, all I could think about was that stupid YouTube video and how ironic is was that I was laughing at that poor fellow injuring himself after not locking his ladder in place, and here I was trapped in a ladder for the exact same reason. 

I managed to get one of my shoes off and with some effort I pryed it out of the ladder. Aside from some nice matching bruises, I'm otherwise unscathed. 

I psyched myself up to brave the ladder again and after checking (and re-checking) the ladder positioning, up I went.  I called out to Corey and after a few minutes, a little face peered down at me. Our one trick paid off!

Our rats are safe and sound (for now) and I have received a healthy dose of humility.https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DlgYQwf1Pug#

Not the marrying kind

The weather on the coast was wild last week.  We lost power for five days (and subsequently most the food in our freezer and fridge), and the boys got an extra week of holidays due to the storm damage.  

When we realised the power would likely be out for a while, we bailed and headed down to Sydney to Anthony's parents place.  

On the way down, we had a chat with the boys about their Aunty's wedding, which was happening in a few days time.  The conversation turned to what kind of person they wanted to marry.  Specifically what qualities they were looking for. 

Carter piped up first and said;

"I want to marry someone who likes rugby and knows how to play rugby.  Maybe even a rugby coach."

Aside from being weird, it's a pretty narrow list of specifications.  

Tony chimed in with;

"I want to marry someone who can cook and make the foods I like.  Oh, and someone who can clean."

This just made me think Tony wants a maid, not a spouse.  But then, he thought a bit harder and felt the need to add to his list. He said;

"Also, and no offence Mum, but maybe someone with....you know.....less broken bones.  And no seizures.  So then they can do more stuff."

I couldn't hold in my laughter.  

Sure son, no offence taken....none at all !!

In the trenches

My boys have lots of cousins being born this year.  Five to be exact - unless anyone wants to announce something to increase that figure.  

Earlier this week, I took Carter to his six monthly paediatrician appointment.  Carter has a lot of appointments.  He had three this week and that is fairly typical for him.  This appointment his doctor asked whether we wanted to do further genetic testing by referring Carter to a geneticist.  He has had genetic screening done to help determine the cause of his developmental issues, but this test only screens for the more common genetic conditions and came up with nothing.  

The therapies and treatment will likely stay the same, but it would be good to know we have done all we can to find answers.  The doctor also pointed out it is worth checking to see if there is a genetic cause for any future children we may have.  

I quickly explained we aren't planning any more children as we have been advised my spine isn't stable enough and it would  mean a very difficult life for our family.  We are okay with this and although it wasn't what we planned a decade ago, we feel blessed to have Tony and Carter.

Later that afternoon, I realised we are past the 'young children' phase of life now.  We don't have babies or toddlers and won't again.  Our 'baby' is seven years old.  It hit me a little hard as I came to the realisation we are in a different stage of parenting now.  

I know each parenting stage will come with it's own challenges and learning curves, but now that we don't have babies or toddlers in our house, I feel like we have climbed out of the trenches.  That was what parenting young children felt like - being in the trenches.  You are exhausted, unshowered, covered in food or bodily fluids, and trying to survive.  It's rough! 

But there is also this weird comraddery that unites you with other parents of little ones.  You just 'get' each other.  You make eye contact in the supermarket, or the park, or the doctors waiting room, and with mutually glazed eyes and matching dark circles and 'Mum pony tails', you know you are battling the same war.  The fight against laundry and dishes in the quest for sleep. 

But there is also so much joy.  Amongst the hardship, you are making and raising people! That's pretty awesome.  The very idea that we create and mold little versions of ourselves is crazy when you think about it. Little people who love and adore you and place you on a ridiculously high pedestal until they get old enough to see that you are indeed only human.  We are in this stage now - they now know we are capable of mistakes.  We aren't their whole world anymore, we share their hearts with teachers and friends etc.

I love that we can tuck our boys in now and know we probably won't hear from them for a good eight hours because they sleep through the night.  I love that we can leave the house without a half hour of preparation.  I love not having to buy nappies (not wipes though, I can't see me ever not buying wipes - they are a multi-purpose wonder).  A part of me will miss the baby and toddler stage that is now a part of our past, because it is witnessing a miracle grow and develop right before your eyes.  The intense blend of love and exhaustion is a unique experience I wouldn't trade for anything.

But we are past that now.  We are sticking our head up out of the trenches and seeing what the world of parenting has in store for us next.  

Cats and dogs call a truce

My children fight.  Daily.   

They fight over anything, and some days  it feels like everything. 

Who got the bigger half of a Zooper Dooper. Who gets to sit in the preferred car seat.  Who is playing with which wrestler.  It goes on and on.  

Siblings are 'safe' to fight with I guess.  I remember feeling this way with my five siblings.  They can't suddenly decide not to be your sibling anymore.  So we feel all our feelings out in the open and it ends up spewing all over those we love most.  It's not ideal, but it happens.  

Because our boys fight like cats and dogs, I treasure the moments they get along.  I treasure them, but I dare not vocalise how nice it is to see them getting along so well, as the second those words pass my lips, it's like I cursed them both and it all falls apart into fighting again.  

They fought a lot over the weekend, and thankfully Monday rolled around and they had to go back to school because I got sick of refereeing their little dramas.  We try to teach them to resolve things themselves as much as possible, but we need a third child so their vote doesn't always end in one vs one with us needing to make the final call.

This afternoon, Tony mentioned something small, that was actually a 'big something'.  We almost could have missed it.  He said he left his hat at his friends house that morning and that his friend would bring it to school tomorrow.  

That could have been it.  But thankfully we asked a follow up question.  

Seeing as their school has the "no hat, no play" rule, I asked Tony what he did at lunch then with no hat.  He said Carter was nice and gave him his hat to use for the day.  I could see it wasn't a big deal to him.  I asked;

"What about Carter?  If you had his hat, what did he do?"

And Tony shrugged his shoulders and replied;

"Oh he probably just played handball under the covered play area."

Carter came down the hallway right then so we asked what he did at lunch time and who he played with seeing as he couldn't play in his normal area without a hat.  

He said matter-of-factly;

"I had to stay under cover so I didn't really play with anyone."

 He didn't seem to mind, but I saw Tony's face drop when he realised that Carter giving up his hat for Tony meant Carter was giving up his play time with his friends, but that he did it willingly for Tony.  Tony had just assumed he had still been able to play with his friends, but when he learned what had really happened, he sat next to Carter and have him a hug and thanked him.  

They have spent the rest of the afternoon playing perfectly together.  I know it could have been missed, and that they will probably go back to fighting again tomorrow, but I'm so glad that for an afternoon they can see each other the way we always hope they can. 

Where were child services?

Whilst my boys are at school each day, I think of them multiple times every hour.  I hope they are having fun, trying their best, being kind to others, listening to their teachers, and putting their darn banana peels into the bin instead of back into their lunch boxes. It's like putting your hand into a box of slugs.  

Every so often, I get a call from the school.  I have their number programmed  into my phone so when I see it, a little bit of panic washes over me for a second.  

What could this be about?

I hope the boys are ok.

Is one of them sick?

What in heavens has Carter been up to this time? 

Now generally speaking, the last one is just me jumping to conclusions.  GENERALLY. 

Let's go back about two weeks ago.  I get a call from Carter's teacher informing me he was out of sorts that day and that during reading time, he said he was sick. She said she didn't think I would have sent him to school unwell and that she saw him running around the playground earlier on and he seemed fine, but she wanted to check just to be sure. 

I told her no, he wasn't sick, just the king of avoidance and that he can be very creative if needs be.  She then started laughing and told me just how creative he had been.  

After the "I'm sick" routine failed, old Tarts tried "I'm tired" instead.  To make his story more believable, he decided some extra detail was necessary.  Apparently he said;

"I'm so tired.  I'm just really, really tired because I didn't have ANY sleep. I was up ALL night getting smacks so I'm very tired now!"

With his teacher laughing on the other end of the phone, I sat with my eyes shut shaking my head, not in disbelief - because it did sound like something Carter would say, but more that we have a child that can make accusations like this and no one bats an eye lid.  I'm hoping our time at school with Tony has shown we are not child-beaters who keep our children up ALL night for a good 'ol smacking.

It either says something about us, or a whole lot about Carter.  Either way, I have no doubt there is a great deal more humiliation in our future. 

Just a follow up

I mentioned this a little while ago while I was undergoing tests, but as a follow up - I have Temporal Lobe Epilepsy. I was diagnosed and started medication in January.

After a few scans and tests, my neurologist found scarring on my brain consistent with epilepsy.  

It's both good and bad. Good because I suspected epilepsy anyway, and it's good to have some answers after all this time. 

But, bad because I now cannot drive until I am 6 months seizure free whilst on medication.  Every seizure I have means I have to start at day one again which gets pretty frustrating.  The longest I have made it is 8 days.

My seizures have also had an effect on my memory.  I really started to notice it late last year, but even now, sometimes things happen that I don't recall, but the only answer is that I did it, but just don't remember.  

It's incredibly inconvenient being a mother and not being able to drive. It's frustrating losing another piece of independence.  It's tough not being able to remember things when I have always relied on a good memory.  

It's also incredibly humbling to have people close to me offer to help.  People who help get our children to school, take me grocery shopping, and allow for the adjustment it has been on our family.  I don't ever wish for challenges, but they do show me time and time again how blessed I am to have such incredible people in my life.

Mr. Tarts turns seven

Our boys have such differing natures.  Carter likes the spotlight, and Tony likes the peace and quiet.  They just came that way.  We love the dynamic they bring to our family with their individuality.  

Today, is our big baby's special day.  He is 7 years old.  He has been counting down to this day for quite some time now and it's finally here (thank goodness). 

Anyone who knows Carter will know what a character he is.  He feels emotion to the highest degree.  Perhaps it's part of his disability, or perhaps it's just who he is - I don't know.  If he wants to give you a kiss, he doesn't just give you a peck on the cheek, he throws his arms around your neck and really plants one on you - teeth and all.  If he is sad, it isn't just a few rolling tears, it's a soap opera.  

Days with Carter are both hard, and full of joy.  He hasn't had it easy from the get-go.  Nothing comes easy for him.  Watching other children learn to hold a pencil, colour in, write their name, or dress themselves is like us in Australia learning English.  It takes some effort, but being immersed in it makes makes it seem almost natural.  For Carter, it's like learning a foreign language.  A different language each time he needs to learn a new skill.  It's hard work and it's constant. 

But his enthusiasm for life means he doesn't give up.  He keeps on working.  We have tantrums, and we have great success.  I know any parent of a child with special needs will understand this. 

There are some gifts that do seem just ingrained in Carter though.  He never had to learn these things. He is incredibly generous.  He will share everything he has, even if it means forcing it on you.  He loves to help if it means making someone else's life easier.  He has a compassionate nature that is far beyond his years.  And my favourite, he simply loves people.  He loves to talk to people at the train station, at the supermarket, in the doctors waiting room, people serving us at the cash register, and our personal favourite - telemarketers!  He genuinely enjoys getting to know someone.

I am already a life-time's worth of proud of our spunky little dude, but can't wait to see what's ahead for him.  

Happy Birthday Mr. Tarts