Just another expert huh!

There are a few things I wish I knew before I had children. Things that might have made life easier had I not had to learn them the hard way. Retrospect is a wonderful thing, but if I could pass on a few tidbits of info to anyone yet to experience parenting, they would be;

•if you are lying down on your back holding your baby above your head making them laugh, keep your mouth shut tight
•when your baby vomits in your mouth while you are lying on your back flying him over your head, you can't fight the urge to vomit yourself
•dont let the tiny clothes fool you-our washing frequency went from two loads a week to two loads a day
•you really can sleep sitting up when you are tired enough
•you will feel guilty if you don't clean while your baby/toddler is napping but you will kick yourself for not resting when they wake up
•who says 2-minute noodles can't make a well-balanced dinner?
•when you smile and grit your teeth while whispering threats in your childs ear in the supermarket, you really arn't fooling anyone, no normal parent is smiling in the supermarket!
•there really is a secret tunnel out the back of the washing machine where one out of each pair of socks escape to the outside world
•Elmo, Brobee, Thomas, Bob, and Dora are some of the best friends I could ask for; they come the same time everyday, entertain my children, don't require any of my attention, and they couldn't care less if I haven't vacuumed when they arrive
•the busier the pattern on the carpet, the better the crumbs blend in
•playdough should be somewhere on the food pyramid-I've given up fighting it
•no matter how many tissues/hankies you have on hand, a parents clothes are always more appealing
•Somedays, the cleaning and cooking really can wait, because time really does go by too fast and before you know it you are chasing the little people you once held in your arms.