Back to School

This year is a milestone in my life.  One that I feel has crept up on me leaving me suddenly feeling very old.  This year, it is officially 20 years since I graduated high school.  That went by so fast! 

I feel very thankful to be able to say that I had a great time in high school.  My teen years had their share of drama, but not in the traumatic kind of way, more in the “geez-this-is-going-to-make-for-a-good-story-one-day” kind of drama.  In large part, I have some amazing friends to thank for this.  When I look back to photos of my Year 12 formal, I can’t help but smile.  Partly because of the somewhat dated outfits that we all felt so cool in, but mainly because of the faces in the photos smiling back at me.  

Tammy and I were pretty much set up as friends by our mums.  I think they decided we would be great friends before we ever knew it.  It turns out they weren’t wrong.  Tammy was quiet to those who didn’t know her well, but had such a fun crazy side for those lucky enough to call her their friend.  We shared a love of Leonardo DiCaprio and watched Titanic at the movies over and over.  We babysat together….a lot!  Tammy was such a loyal friend and I loved knowing that if we ever needed one another, she would be there.

Meagan was both feisty and tough, yet warm and kind.  I remember seeing how much she loved her mum truly believed they would be best friends for life - I hope that has turned out to be true.  You know the saying “good things come in small packages”?  That saying encompasses Meagan all over.  How such a big heart fit in such a small body is an anomaly.

Any class I had with Alan I knew would be fun.  There was a good chance I would get in trouble for laughing, but it was worth it.  It was almost worth crossing Alan just to hear the hilariously creative insults he would dish out.  He had such a quick mind and I still cannot look at avocado dip without thinking of our Spanish teacher and laughing. 

Emma moved to our school from Canberra with her family.  She was outgoing and confident in a way that I found both admirable and intimidating.  She was quite independent at a young age and when her family was moving back to Canberra, she moved in with us and we shared a bedroom.    I realise now that having a friend live with you could destroy a lot of friendships, but I’m grateful that wasn’t the case with Emma.  She didn’t have a mean bone in her body.  

Ebony was a friendship that came a little out of the blue in the beginning.  I was talking to Tony yesterday about Ebony.  I was telling him how I remember talking with a group of friends and I made a Seinfeld reference and she was the only other person there who got it.  That alone made me like her immediately.  Ebony is the kind of person who doesn’t need any attention on her, yet she shines.  She is one of the most even tempered people I have ever known.  She is genuine and purposeful in all she does.

Sarah and I are cousins.  We loved states apart from one of another all our lives until she moved to Adelaide at 16 and came to the same high school as me.  We quickly became partners in crime and probably have way too much dirt on one another, but any mischief we got up to was worth it.  From sneaking out at night and having to sleep in the car so we could still get to school on time in the morning, to dancing in car parks and watching and laughing as she vomited in random gardens…what we lacked in class we made up for in fun.  

I don’t get to see or talk to any of these people as much as I would like.  Life gets busy and everyone takes different paths, but 20 years on I have nothing but fond memories of my time in high school and to the people who made it so amazing, I thank you. 

Not All Bad

 Not all change is bad.

I didn’t realise how long it had been since I heard Tony call out to Carter;

“Hey Carter, do you want to play FIFA on the PlayStation with me?”

Both the boys like video games, but tend to play them separately or with their own friends.  Lately, I have heard them playing together and between trash talk they laugh and tease one another.  

Today they played “drive-thru” at Tony’s bedroom window (this had been something Carter has wanted to do for a couple of days now) and took one another’s orders for lunch and prepared the food in the kitchen and ran it back out to the window.  It was simple, but I could hear in their voices they were having fun in the middle of their online school day.

Every second day, I hear them wrestling in the lounge room.  I know they are likely jumping off the couch and tackling one another, but I choose not to watch because I will likely tell them they shouldn’t be jumping on the couch or to be careful so they don’t hurt one another.  I choose not to look because I hear them having fun and enjoying their time with one another.  I think that in all the busyness of life they forgot they are both brothers AND friends.  They have their own social groups and separate interests, jobs and activities that keeps them apart a lot, but lockdown has put a stop to 90% of those things and now we are together most the time.  

I must admit it was a bit odd at first, to all be home so much, but I feel so blessed to be able to say without any doubt that these 3 people are the people I really want to be with above all else.  I must acknowledge that unlike many others, we are very fortunate to have a safe place to live and steady work still and this alone removes a great deal of stress that others in lockdown are enduring. We also haven’t lost a loved one to the disease that is affecting so many world wide.  Compared to many, our life is relatively smooth despite the lockdown conditions.

Over 7 weeks of lockdown has slowed our pace of life.  We still have work and school, but it gets done and we get to just hang out together.  Sometimes it’s going for a walk or playing at the park, other days it’s watching a movie on the couch.  The best part is that whilst doing these activities, there is no part of me that feels guilty, like we should be getting other things done or that we are wasting time.  I have realised that in the past, my ideas of an accomplished day involved being busy a lot.  It was as if a packed schedule was some kind of badge of honour.  I rarely felt my head hit the pillow with a sense of satisfaction that I had ticked everything off my “to-do” list. There was always more to do.  

I have changed my mind set now.  I don’t want to go back to the packed schedule of before.  I know life will inevitably be busy again, when school goes back and sports return, but I am determined to keep my view that having some veg time watching a movie on the couch is not any sign of laziness, maybe it’s an indication that I am planning my days well and not over-scheduling.  I feel that in the years and decades to come, I will regret not taking those moments to recharge so my boys get the best of me.  I will regret not lying on my bed next to them just chatting and watching music clips on YouTube instead of folding laundry.  I will regret not eating ice cream out of the tub with my sweetheart while we laugh over cheesy jokes we have heard.  I will miss seeing all the parents out on the field behind our house actually PLAYING with their children and not just supervising them.  That field is packed every day with families out having fun together being active because they can now find the time much easier without all the after school activities.  These little moments are really the big moments, and I think I have spent years either not appreciating them or missing them all together.  

Lockdown is far from ideal and it certainly comes with its challenges (no amount of teaching experience equips your to work through online learning with your own child and maintain your sanity), but I have loved being able to slow down a little and just hang out with my 3 boys and know we are the only place we are supposed to be right now.