Thursday, August 15, 2013

Serial clubbing

I was average at lots of sports and hobbies growing up.  I played well enough to be chosen early on when teams were chosen, but I never excelled enough to make it to a real State rep team or anything. 

I tried my hand at lots of different sports/activities in my younger years. I played tennis, t-ball, swimming ,ballet, jazz ballet, line dancing, volleyball, basketball, badminton, and piano (to name a few).  I did ok, but was never particularly good at any of them. 

You know what I was good at though......quitting! I quit every single one of them.  I quit ballet because I lost my shoes and couldnt face everyone again. I quit a lot of sports because I enjoyed the actual matches but found training boring. I quit others because I wasn't disciplined enough to give them a real go so they became an inconvenience to me.  I didn't stay part of any club for long. 

Looking at my life now, I initially thought my track record into adult life isn't much better.  I'm not really part of any sporting or social club. But this week I realised throughout life, we join countless clubs. Some we join willingly, some we join unknowingly, some we join without any say in our mbership, and some we join without ever wanting to. 

Some clubs we are born into. I joined the 'girls club' simply be being born a girl. We girls are connected by having shared experiences as a result of our gender. That's about all that binds us, but don't let the size of the club fool you, it's a pretty tight knit club.

I was also born a 'Mormon'. This put me in the 'Christian club', but also the 'Mormon club'.  I'm still a part of both these clubs and hope to remain in good standing in both for the rest of my.....well, forever. 

I am part of the 'Bennallack club' along with my parents, siblings, and cousins. We are affiliated with other clubs that may have different names but we share the same DNA so we gather for club meetings and activities together (family dinners, reunions etc).  

Later in life I took a liking to a member of the 'Bush club' and decided to apply for dual membership. I am since a proud member of the 'Bush club' also. Anthony and I have even recruited two of our own members.  

I joined the 'Mothers club' nearly eight years ago now after deciding that nine months in the 'Pregnant woman's club' was enough for me. I was recruited once again several years later but found that the club's main beliefs were still weight gain, nausea, and exhaustion and so I quit again after another nine months membership.  They won't be suckering me back in again anytime soon. 

The 'Mothers club' comes with a lifelong membership.  It's demanding but a club I would be devastated to not be a part of.  It's members are very supportive of one another as we relate to each other well.  

Other clubs I have joined unwillingly. Off the top of my head I have joined the 'Death of a loved one club', the 'Chronic pain sufferers club',  and the 'Parent of a child with additional needs club'.  These clubs have very reluctant members, but they are also some of the most supportive clubs to be a part of.  Perhaps it's that none if us want to be there. Or maybe that none of us know what to do now we have joined. But there is comfort from associating with other members of these clubs.  There is comfort when the other members hear your story, your pain, your frustrations, your sadness, and they respond with; 

"Me too."

It's comforting to feel understood and know you aren't alone in your experiences. 

I don't know which club I will join next. I may get a say in it, but I may not. But one thing I do know is that by the time someone tells you to;

"Join the club"

Well, chances are you already have. 

Sunday, August 11, 2013

To battle

In war, there is a term called a 'cease fire'. This refers to both sides agreeing to TEMPORARILY  stop fighting.

This amazes me! The fact that it is temporary means what they are fighting for isn't over, in fact they intend to continue the fighting, but for whatever reason, they need to rest for a time.  

There are even instances where cease fires were called for a few days to celebrate Christmas. 

I am part of some online mothers groups. I am also friends with a lot of mothers. We hear often about 'bad days '. Sometimes these bad days are not just days, they are weeks, and months. They are exhausting. I hear amongst these 'mothering communities' of mothers who are exhausted, who are struggling, and who don't know what to do.  Somedays I feel like this mother.  

I love my children and family so much. They are absolutely my source of joy. But like these mothers say, sometimes it's hard. It's tiring work that doesn't stop. There is the normal everyday work to put food on the table, pay the rent, and have clean clothes etc.  But some days just feel a bit tougher than others.

I think on days like this, all you can do is call a cease fire. Throw up your hands and recognise that for today, I need to stop the 'battle'. I need to rest because the fight is hard and long and I want to do the job right. So for today, I will rest so I can get up and fight again tomorrow. 

I think I will plan a 'cease fire' for tomorrow - just because.