Wings to Fly

In my late teens, I remember hearing the words of Marjorie Hinckley when she was speaking to her husband.  She told him:

“You have always given me wings to fly, and I have loved you for it.”

Something about that stuck with me.  I didn’t know why at the time, but 20 years on I can tell you exactly why this resonated with me.  

Marjorie Hinkley was a sweet old lady who resembled what I pictured Mrs. Clause to look like.  

My favourite part of her though is that she had a lot of spunk to her.  You could see she was both gentle, but could certainly handle herself.

I am a stubborn soul.  Not in a way that people would know when you first get to know me, but those who know me well will be able to see it I’m sure.  If you tell me not to do something, I will want to do it more, like a defiant child.  I like to do things my way, and I like to get things done all by myself, even when I should probably ask for help.  I can fixate on a job and heaven forbid anything get in my way until it is done.    You would almost forget I have any children when I get in my “zone” with the way I push everything to the side until I have completed whatever I have my mind set on.  Sometimes these tasks are things I have no business doing…like my own plumbing repairs.  Google and YouTube are great, but there are still some tasks that should be done in consultation with a professional.  

I’m not all that sorry for my stubborn nature, because it’s that same nature that has made me resilient and strong when I need to be.  

Anthony knows I am stubborn and feisty, but he embraces this and leaves me to my crazy. He doesn’t tell me I “can’t” or “shouldn’t” do the things I do.  He probably sees the crazy look in my eyes and knows better than to even try.  I love him for that.  

I cannot think of any endeavour I have set upon that Anthony hasn’t supported me in.  From when we first began our lives together to our lives now over 16 years later, he makes me feel like I can do and be anything I set my heart to, and he will be in my corner cheering me on.  When I take on a new job or role, he makes it easy for me to leave the house and our boys knowing they are in good hands.  When work opportunities arose for me that I felt interested in, Anthony told me he will support whatever decision I make.  I know if I awoke tomorrow and decided to pursue another lengthy and demanding university degree, he would help me make it happen.  He did it whilst we had a baby and another on the way, and he still does it now.  He doesn’t just support me, he is behind the scenes making it possible for me to feel like I can do everything I want to do.

If I think back to right before we got married up until now, there are definitely parts of me that are still the same.  I was raised by loving parents who helped me to believe I could achieve the goals I had for myself.  They didn’t push me into what they wanted, but helped me to reach high in areas that were interesting to me. I think some pieces of us are so ingrained it’s almost impossible to get rid of them.  This is a wonderful thing.  It might be the way I laugh, or that I still refuse to eat seafood.  These traits are part of who we are, but I know in many ways I’m not the same person Anthony married.  I feel I have a better idea of who I am and what I want in life.  I am able to say “sorry, I can’t” without feeling like I need to provide a big explanation and reason.  I don’t feel the need to “do it all”, unless I really want it all.  I hold tight to the people and values that matter most to me and can happily leave the rest behind.

  I can say that adult me is genuinely content in myself and after a lot of thought, I want to give a lot of credit to Anthony.  He has really made me feel that whoever and whatever I am is enough, in fact it’s more than enough in his eyes, he tells me all the time how amazing he thinks I am.  He tells me in a way that I know he really means it and I feel it too.  I think this is what Marjorie Hinkley might have meant in her comment to her husband.  I don’t believe she was saying he gave her wings as in he gave her “permission” to do things, I believe it was that the way he loved, supported and believed in her made her feel like she could do anything.  

I think of myself as fairly confident in my own abilities.  I appreciate this as it makes it easy to not worry too much about the judgements of others.  There is someone beside me who has helped give me this confidence - Anthony.  Not to be all sappy, but I realise he too has given me wings and boy oh boy do I love him for it!