Sunday, January 25, 2015

Those four letter words

Two weeks ago, Carter discovered some rather 'colourful' language and shared said discovery at a very inappropriate moment.  

Parenting is an embarrassing experience.  It's wonderful, but it's utterly humiliating at times.  My logical side knows children come with their own little personalities and quirks, but they are also an extension of their parents in many ways and so when something embarrassing happens, I feel that humiliation 100%.  

Carter is a music lover and enjoys watching his favourite songs on YouTube at times.  Lately, it's been watching old Wiggles songs.  Two years ago he was a big Wiggles fan but that had tapered off.  He recently stumbled upon a Wiggles clip and it unleashed the floodgates of Wiggles videos into our house yet again.  Unfortunately, there are some weirdos out there who think it's amusing to make up Wiggles videos and adding in a variety of swear words - words we thus far haven't heard from our children's mouths. 

Go back a fortnight and we were at church.  It was all finished and it was time to go home. As we were getting ready to head off to the car, Carter expressed he wanted to keep playing with the other children and ran off.  Anthony followed him into the crowded foyer and managed to grab hold of his hand and told him it was time to go. Carter turned around and yelled out:

"Let go of me, you d***!"

Did I mention the foyer was crowded??
When pressed as to where he had heard such a word, Carter though about it and said:

"Ummmm.... I think it was Jesus."

Now I have my concerns at times about how Carter will do academically and what his future holds, but then I see how clever and crafty he is on his feet and a wave of pride washes over me.  
I just wish it wasn't over his lying about where he heard such inappropriate language and placing the blame on Jesus!

We finally got it out of him that he heard it on a Wiggles video on YouTube.  He also followed this up with two other 'new' words that same day.  Between trying to stifle shocked giggles, Anthony and I were appalled! 

Thankfully such language has died down, but I have been waiting for the moment when his crankiness and impulsivity gets the better of him and he lets one slip out again.  

But, his love of police shows may have solved our problems. I watched an episode of Police Ten 7 with Carter as he loves police shows.  In this particular episode, three separate people were arrested for verbally assaulting the police officers.  Carter picked up that the 'bleeps' meant swearing and asked if they were arrested for swearing. I very slowly nodded and told him;

" Yes!  Yes!  They were arrested for swearing.  You are very lucky that no one called the police when you swore or that could happen to you.  I hope you won't be saying those words again."

Carter got a very serious look on his face and said;

"I won't say swear words again.  I will keep the peace cos I dont wanna go to the slammer!"

Thank you TV!!

Friday, January 16, 2015

A decade with my doofus

Ten years ago, Anthony and I were days away from getting married. There were lots of last minute details to attend to, and family who had travelled to spend time with.  It was all so exciting and surreal.  I was absolutely anticipating our "big day", but I was even more looking forward to a life with my best friend.  

During our engagement, we didn't really go out a whole lot.  Partly due to the fact we both worked full-time, but also we were just happy spending time at each other's houses, talking, playing cards, and of course eating.  This time gave me a good indication as to what married life would be like for us; just finding joy and contentment in being near each other.  

Right now, I am lying on our bed and Anthony is in the lounge room.  We have a wall between us as I type, but I feel complete because I know he is near me. Not to sound all "Jerry Maguire", but Anthony absolutely completes me.  I didn't NEED a man to complete me, it wasn't that sort of thing.  But Anthony is so much a part of me now that I don't feel like me without him.  

During our ten years of marriage, we have seen quite a few marriages break down.  It confirms to me even more that life doesn't always go as planned.  Things happen that strain relationships and weigh us down.  It's almost easy sometimes to see how it happens, but for us we have been blessed in that our struggles have brought us together and not divided us. In fact, I would actually go as far as to say we are not strong in spite of our trials, I believe we are strong because of those trials. 

I don't necessarily think we have endured more than anyone else, but I know we have faced our own dark moments.  We have had nearly non-stop health struggles with both myself and Carter.  I was reminded a few days ago that on our honeymoon I was so severely sun burnt I couldn't even have a sheet touch me.  I also had a nasty ear infection that left me vomiting a couple of days.  That should have been Anthony's warning sign of what was to come!  

The thing is, he has never once made me feel like I am a burden to him, or to 'us'.  He takes it all in his stride and gives me a feeling of security that I know he will be beside me in whatever comes.  

I don't believe people, or even marriage, are perfect, but in some strange way, I believe love in itself CAN be perfect. 

When we are tired and cranky and snappy, I know we still love each other.  

When we are crazy busy and like passing ships at times, I know we still love each other and that even though we aren't in each other's presence, we are in each other's thoughts and hearts.  

When Anthony achieves something wonderful, I feel like it's happened to me.

On those occasions when we do have a fight, I still know underneath whatever is bugging us, everything is stable and fine and I am very loved.

We have seen each other ill, exhausted, unkept, unshowered and still see something beautiful.

We randomly come home from the shops with the others' favourite treat just to bring a smile.  

We both have quirks that drive the other nuts and push all the right buttons, but we still love each other.

These are the realities of marriage, and I have found in marriage you can experience a perfect type of love, and that's pretty incredible.  I know it's not a lifetime, but we are a decade in and I have never been happier thanks to my sweetheart, my best friend, my doofus, and my heart.

Happy 10th Anniversary my sweetheart.

I got a good one! 

(Big thank you to Tim Coulson for his time and talent)