The truth must come out

I have a confession to make. I have done something dishonest; something I am not proud of. In my own defence I was driven to a mild case of insanity. If it tell you it involves a mobile phone network does that make it any more justified? Aha! I knew it would!

Lets go back more than 6 years ago. My older brother Andrew was leaving on his mission to Panama for our church. He would be gone for 2 years and still had about a year left on his mobile contract, so I ditched my pre-paid phone and took over the contract. We didn't bother with officially changing the plan into my name, instead we just changed the billing address.

Over a year passed and once the plan was up I had the option of upgrading to a new handset but I needed Andrew to give the ok and sign a form to officially transfer it into my name. The other option was to have him authorise the upgrade and get the new handset sent out to me. Anthony played the voice of Andrew on the phone and we were all set.

Once Andrew arrived home, we went into the actual store to sign transfer papers one day.

Once that second contract was up, i received a letter informing me it was upgrade time again. I called up to give the go-ahead but was told the account holder would need to authorise it. I politely told them that I was the account holder only to be told the account holder was Andrew. Still.

Somehow those papers we had signed disappeared never to be seen again. I was annoyed but arranged with Andrew to pay another visit to the store and get it sorted once and for all. This was a bit over two years ago.

A few weeks ago, my phone started to die. Anthony and I pretty much share the one phone on a plan to cut back on cost and when the buttons on the phone showed signs of giving up the ghost, I started to shop around for a new plan.

Our current provider had a decent deal so I called up to enquire. I said it sounded good and wanted to go ahead but was once again told I needed the account holder, Andrew, to authorise the new contract. After the feeling of déjàvu passed, I explained that I took over my brothers contract YEARS ago and that we had signed transfer forms and that I had been paying the bill on this account for years and years now. All I got back was an empty apology and told that they have no record of either of the signed transfer forms.

I didn't hold back my irritation any more and rather bluntly informed them that Andrew lives interstate and that we have come in twice in the past to sign the forms and that it just wasn't good enough. In the end I was given a phone number for Andrew to call and once he authorised the transfer of account they would give him a PIN number that he was to give to me. Once I called up with the PIN number, the transfer was complete.

I know I could have got Andrew to call up, or even waited for Anthony to get home and call, but I was annoyed and impatient. I came up with a plan of my own.

I have heard my voice on home movies and it sounds deeper than I thought. Perhaps even deep enough to be...Andrew?

I called the number and put on my "guy" voice. As soon as I heard it, I wanted to burst out laughing! I sounded like a drunk bogan with a Mexican accent. I figured I should try and say as little as possible to remain convincing. It didn't work too well though as the man I was dealing with referred to me as "Mam" and when I told him my name was Andrew he said I sounded like a woman. I pretended to be offended. He apologised and preceded with the transfer questions. I made sure I limited my answers to one word where possible - to avoid giving myself away.

But it worked. I got the PIN code and called back as myself and the transfer went through successfully.

I am not proud of how I went about getting the transfer sorted. Not proud at all. But I felt wronged and wanted it sorted for good. Don't worry, I won't be doing it again. Not until I get my "guy" voice down pat anyway.