Tuesday, November 22, 2016

The secret

I had an early morning doctors appointment Saturday morning.  I booked an appointment with the first available on a whim, as I get scalp psoriasis sometimes and it has been bugging me.  My regular GP takes 3 weeks to get into so for minor things I just see whoever suits my schedule.

When I arrived, I waited a short time and was called in.  I had never seen this doctor before, but he seemed pleasant and professional so I didn't waste much time in telling him why I was there and that I was interested in seeing if treatment options for psoriasis have changed/improved over the last few years.

My psoriasis is annoying and has spread as of late, but in the past the treatments were more of a hassle than the actual condition so I have tolerated it whilst it stayed relatively stable.

The doctor explained the treatments he thought would be worth trying and before filling out a prescription he asked if I am taking and medications, in case they would interfere with the treatment.

I listed the 6 medications I take.  I explained some are dependent on symptom severity (nerve pain killers) and others are round the clock.

Due to some of them being very strong medications that I need two doctors to approve them every 3 months as well as approval from Canberra, he asked me what I was taking each medication for.

After trying to give the shortened version of why I take them, he shook his head and said;

"Wow!  You have certainly got a lot on your plate.  It's rare I see someone your age with such health problems, yet you look healthy in the outside."

I politely laughed because there isn't really a response to that comment. I don't feel like my health leaves me with "a lot on my plate", it's just my normal.  I really can't remember it being any different.He went on typing and after a few minutes of silence passed he paused and turned to me.  With a serious look on his face he said;

"I'm sorry, I know this is a bit of a strange thing to ask, but you just seem so calm and happy but I know you would have to be in a lot of pain right now and I know what else you are dealing with....but how is it that you are happy with your situation?  I just really want to know what is your secret?"

Now I get this comment every now and again with people commenting that I seem happy despite being in pain and having seizures etc, but I just laugh it off or say I must be nuts, but this doctor was looking at me like he really wanted a serious answer so an awkward laugh wouldn't have cut it.

Instead, I opened my mouth and said the first thing that came out;

"My secret, is time.  Time heals things that medicine can't sometimes I guess."

He nodded and kept staring so I added on;

 "Not that I'm physically better at all, I'm sore every minute of every day, but what seemed like the hardest thing in the world a while ago is actually not so hard now because I have had time to adjust, but more so because I am stronger mentally now."

He nodded and went on writing and wished me well, but before I left the room he apologised for not being able to do more for me.

I wish now I could have explained myself better. I wish I could have said that there is no secret.  Time really changes your perspective if you let it.  I seem happy and calm because I truly feel happy and calm with my lot in life.  I have my days and moments of course and I'm not saying it's not difficult, but in many ways I have all I could have hoped for.  It is truly hard to be down about the things that haven't turned out how I would have liked when I also have so much to be grateful for.

1 comment:

  1. Your decision to be happy and positive no matter what, blesses the lives of so many within your sphere of influence Joanne! You are one of the most resilient and compassionate people I know. Love u xo