After 13 years of being a parent, there are still frequent moments that remind me I really don’t know what I’m doing. It really highlights to me that I have a job that I’m hugely under qualified for. I guess that’s why the pay is a big, fat, zero!
Last month I brought Carter a new night light. His previous one had stopped working so I popped out to Kmart and bought a little nightlight in the shape of a cloud. Of course Carter being Carter meant he instantly loved it and was talking away to his little light and hugging it and giving it a tour of his bedroom. It was all very cutesy and adorable.
Come bed time, I unknowingly ruined all the adorable-ness. Perhaps my nighttime judgement is somewhat impaired. Or maybe what seemed like a good idea at the time, in hindsight is a terrible idea that I somehow missed. Who knows!
Once tucked in bed, Carter started asking me questions about his new night light. He had named him, rather appropriately, Cloudy. He asked me if Cloudy liked his new room. I told him Cloudy can’t talk, but I made him nod in affirmation. Carter then asked if he was sad to leave Kmart, so I made him shake as if to be saying “no”. This is where it all went downhill as I answered Carter’s questions for Cloudy with nods and shakes.
Carter: “Cloudy, do you have a Mum?”
Cloudy: “Yes”.
Carter: “Are you sad you are away from her?”
Cloudy: “No”
Carter: “Did you have to leave your Dad?”
Cloudy: “No”
Carter: “Why? Was he already gone?”
Cloudy: “Yes”
Carter: “Did he abandon you when you were little?”
*I must say here that I thought that was a bit much for a little cloud night light and figured I should say no*
Cloudy: “No”
Carter: “Is he is prison?”
*again, didn’t seem quite right*
Cloudy: “No”
Carter: “Is he dead?”
Cloudy: “Yes”.
Now it is at this point that I must admit I can see this was a poor judgement call. I’m my mind, abandonment and crime were a bit dark for the life of a young cloud-shaped night light, but for some reason I thought death wouldn’t be as difficult. I know - stupid!
Carter: “How did he die?”
I held Cloudy up to my ear and then told Carter his Dad was on the back of a truck being transported to a shop when the truck crashed and the stock was ruined.
Then came the tears.
Carter was hugging Cloudy, sobbing, with tears running down his cheeks. By this point, I realised that he likely wasn’t going to sleep anytime soon and I may have made a rather large error. I tried telling Carter that Cloudy was ok, that he wasn’t sad, that he was so happy to be with Carter, blah, blah, blah.....but the tears kept on coming.
Then, a stroke of genius! Knowing Carter’s love for detective shows, I told him that Cloudy’s Dad’s body was never actually recovered and so they just THOUGHT he died, but that perhaps we can do an investigation to find out if he survived or not.
This seemed to do the trick and Carter wiped his eyes and with a bit of hope in his heart he went to sleep.
I, however, did not get to go to sleep. Instead, I had to google images of cloud-shaped night lights that I could use to manufacture a “FOUND” poster to use as evidence that Cloudy’s father had in fact survived and so I could get some damn sleep in the coming nights.
Come morning, I did what all good parents do and faked excitement as I woke Carter to present my findings. I showed him the poster of a newly found nightlight that had been missing for months and had been discovered on the side of the road at the site of a truck crash several months back.
Thankfully, Carter bought the story and was genuinely relieved, as was I to know this whole crazy ordeal was coming to an end.
Even as I write this tale as a record for Carter to read one day in the future, I realise how ridiculous it all sounds. What began as a simple bedtime conversation took me close to two hours in creating a fake poster and police report. The things we do as parents!!
I will leave you with the heartwarming image of a young nightlight reunited with his parents....even though he has never left Carter’s bedside table (but don’t anyone dare point that out to Carter!).
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