Friday, August 19, 2011

Mummy Training Wheels

There are a number of indicators that you are a parent. Of course there are the obvious; such as you have given birth, have a child in your care permanently, and you’re named as a mother or father on a birth certificate.
I knew I was a mother the day Tony was born. I knew it and I loved it. Of course like most new parents it scared me to death that this child was relying on me, but I was so looking forward to being a mother.
Now days, I don’t just KNOW I’m a mother, I FEEL like one too. The training wheels are well and truly off. The evidence exists and it means a heck of a lot more than my name on a birth certificate.
•I have been vomitted on, pooed on, and weed on countless times and went about my day like it was the norm (most likely because it was).
•I have been in the toilet and had the little voice on the other side ask me what I’m doing in there (and by that I mean EXACTLY what I am doing in there), and whether or not they can join me.
•I would just love to be sent to my room and have to stay here for five minutes. It would be a reward rather than a punishment.
•On the night before my birthday, my son has prayed;
“That we will give Mummy some space for her birthday.”
• I have opened the packages of Devon from the deli in the supermarket long before making it to the register.
•I have had to hand over a barcode and empty plastic bag at the register from what once was a
package of Devon.
•I offered up a prayer of thanks when ABC2 began to run childrens shows 12 hours a day instead of ending at 10am.
•I have threatened to count the three with no idea what happens when I get there
•I have eaten food that has been in my child mouth and no longer resemble what it originally started out as
• I have changed nappies on car bonnets and public toilet floors.
• I can’t remember what sleeping in feels like, or just what sleeping feels like for that matter.
I am truly a mother in every sense of the world. Lucky I love my boys; I wouldn’t let anyone else vomit on me!


  1. never mind eating a whole packet of biscuits to yourself! and calling it lunch! LOL

  2. I take some solace in the fact it was me who ate them all for lunch and that the boys had something proper. Not a great deal of solace....but some :-)

  3. LOL! This is hilarious and oh so true, I love it!! Motherhood is the most challenging and also the most rewarding job there is to do on the planet.

  4. You might feel like a mother Jo but you sure don't look like one.:)xxx