Day 1

Well, I'M ALIVE!!

Made it out the other side of the operating theater. Thank you to my wonderful husband for updating my blog and for staying by my bedside. I can now vaguely remember waking up in ICU and the nurse asking me if I was ok and about pain. I had an oxygen mask on but burst into tears and somehow communicated that I wanted my husband. She called him and next thing I knew he was whispering in my ear.

That single act alone of knowing he was next to me made a would of difference. It didn't stop the pain or confusion or discomfort, but it brought peace to my drugged, confused little mind.

That first day is a blur now. I remember being taken to theatre. I said my goodbyes to Anthony and was wheeled into Operating Theatre 10. The anesthetist saw me in the little pre-op room and explained that he was only going to put in a little canula to put me off to sleep and would put in the rest of the bigger ones once I was out of it. I love him for that as I have a few nice big bruises and my arms where the bigger needles were.

He gave me something that he said would make me feel 'hazy' and I thought it was a relaxant and then I would be wheeled into theatre and get the general anesthetic injected like I have in the past.

Instead, I remember feeling hazy and then it was lights out!

Next thing I recall is waking in ICU. I actually didn't know where I was - I thought it was perhaps a recovery bay or something. But I knew I hurt! And that I felt horrible and couldn't stay with it at all. For some silly reason, one of my priorities after regaining consciousness after a surgery is knowing the time. My eyes can never focus but I always try to find a clock around me to see the time. Stupid considering I will be out of it again in a minute and not remember any of it when I wake once again.

My nurse swapped the oxygen mask for nasal prongs and gave me a button in my hand to push for Fentanyl whenever I felt pain. This was always - but the machine had a 5 minute lock-out so you can't overdose.

Fentanyl really knocks me out and I would doze off for a brief few moments only to be woken a couple minutes later with the pain worsening again. That and all the machines beeping and alarms going off in ICU make it tough to actually sleep. But to be honest, I doubt I would have been getting much sleep regardless.

For anyone interested in the details, I had three IV lines in, a catheter, two wound drains sewed into my back, a blood pressure cuff on constantly, little finger oxygen/heart rate monitor, and leg compressors which rhythmically inflate your calves to keep the blood moving.

It's all a blur (thankfully) but it's over now and I feel good in comparison to that day.

Anthony obviously wasn't allowed to take photos in ICU, but I will post the photos he has taken when I get to those days.

Once again, my thanks to everyone for their well-wishes and prayers. It's pretty cool having your own little cheer squad!