90's flashbacks

I am at that age where I am starting sentences with; "kids these days.. ". I used to be those kids not long ago!
I was a 90's kid. No, not born in the 90's, but spent the majority of my childhood in this decade. I loved it! Most 90's kids will have had similar experiences to me.
• marbles, tazo's, pogs, and slap bands.... Until they were banned
• Full House, Step-by-Step, Family Matters, and Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
• waking up at the crack of dawn on Saturdays to watch Smurfs,Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Saved By The Bell
• knowing Michealangelo was the 'party' turtle
• I had a full-size Peter Andre poster on the back of my door
• I owned a hyper-colour oversized t-shirt
•I know what nunga bands and happy pants are
•I listened to Salt n Peppa, Vanilla Ice, and New Kids on the Block
• At some point in time I got home after school and watched Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Passions (" Timmy")
•I had collections of Itty Bitty Bins and Trolls
•I know what a Walkman is
• I remember when our computer screen was only two colours-green and black
• Listening to the annoying sound while dial-up Internet connected
•The Spice Girls
• listening to Kyle and Jackie O's Top 30 at night to tape my favorite songs
• Playing MarioKart on the N64
•I read Sweet Valley High, Goosebumps, and The Baby Sitters Club
• I wanted to be Alex Mack
• Stick on earrings and scrunch socks

Now I know there are many more that I may have missed, or permanently blocked from my memory, but how good were the 90's!!

At the end of the day...

This sounds a bit morbid, but I was thinking the other day about my funeral. Anthony and I have spoken about our funerals before, about what music we would like, who we would like to speak, what we would like to be written on our headstones etc. Whenever we talk about it, I express the sentiment that it doesn't really matter all that much to me because I WILL BE DEAD.
But when I was thinking the about it, what does matter to me is what people will say or feel about me at my funeral. I know it sounds incredibly vain and self-centered, and perhaps it is, but to me, these thoughts and feelings are a reflection of how I have lived my life (or at least how it appeared I lived my life ;o).

So, what would I like people to say about me?

Well, for starters I would hope I was a good friend. I would hope I was friendly too anyone who sought my company. I would hope people felt that I cared about them just by being around me-that words wern't necessary.

I hope my family knew they are my world. That the things I do and the decisions I make all revolve around what is best for us. I would hope they thought I was fun, in-between all the daily chores. I hope they feel that I MADE time for them amid the hustle and bustle of life.

I would like to be thought of as someone who could be relied on-that my word really meant something.

When you know what outcome you are after, it's so much easier to plan how to get there. If these are qualities and traits I hope for others to see in me, I guess they are what I should be working on now. I guess I had better get cracking.

I have no doubt that at the end of the day, the cleanliness of my home, pricetag on my car and clothes, and my social status in the world will mean nothing to me if the people I care about don't know it. And at the end of the day, if all the things I want are said about me at my funeral, I guess I will have fooled everyone ;o)

Some things never change

As we speak (or read) I have a snoring husband fast asleep next to me. And boy can he snore!!! I remember when we were dating we would stay up as late as possible to see as much of each other as we could. We both worked and would meet up as soon as we finished and we'd spend the evening together until we were too tired to keep our eyes open. On a few occasions, Anthony really couldn't keep his eyes open and he would doze off. I got a glimpse into his snoring here. I figured out that if he was REALLY tired, he would snore rather loudly. I found this more amusing than bothersome.
Seven years down the track and either my theory of loud snoring being an indication of exhaustion was very wrong, or Anthony is exhausted EVERY night! It can be very loud, but still doesn't bother me enough to wake him.
We were reminiscing the other night about when we dated. We talked about the movies we saw, the places we went to, and the memories that stood out most for us. One of the most significant things for us was how exciting it all was. How we would look forward to getting to see eachother and how we could spend hours on the phone when we had seen one another less than an hour earlier. There is such a buzz during that stage of a relationship.
But my feelings haven't changed. I still love to lie on our bed and have a good chat. We still call and talk on the phone when one of us just left the house. My idea of a perfect night is still takeout and DVDs with junk food. And I still get a little excited when I see Anthony pull into our carpark at the end of the day.

Good Tired

Carter and I have Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays together. Some of these days are wonderful. Some are....not so good.
Wednesday this week was one of our worst. A certain little someone drove me absolutely insane. I was looking forward to the day at home to catch up on some cleaning and to get stuck into some sewing I'm trying to get done. I was also hoping for some rest as life has been rather busy as of late and by the rate I have been going through my painkillers I knew a rest was necessary.

NONE of this happened!!

I got more than my fair share of exercise in walking Carter to his room countless times that day and plonking him on his bed. I'm surprised there wasn't a track worn into the carpet from all my back-and-forthing.
We had lunch tipped on the floor, toy trains thrown, and spitting! As I said, it was an exceptionally bad day.
That night I went to bed tired, cranky, and feeling like the entire day was a waste. I was so tired mentally and physically but I was also ashamed that I was the adult and had handled my frustration so badly ALL day. Surely I could have stopped at one point and tried harder to turn the day around.....but instead I ranted and raved and felt hard done by.

The next morning I woke and after reflecting on the day before, I decided something good had to come from it. I had to learn to do better.
Carter goes to preschool on Thursday (very necessary at that time), but I was determined that Friday would be a good day for us as we both had some making up to do.

Carter loves trains at the moment. He can hear them from our house and his little ears prick up whenever one goes past. My thoughts of a quiet day meant boredom for Carter so instead I planned to take him for a walk to the train station to go for a little ride into Woy Woy. When I told him of my plans Friday morning, he grabbed his clothes and shoes immediately and headed for the front door. The whole walk to the station he kept telling me how 'exciked' he was to be going on the train. When we were waiting on the platform a freight train rushed past and scared him to death so he spent the rest of the wait sitting on the bench with his fingers plugging his ears.

We got our train ride, got to have lunch, and spend some time at the park. When we got home I was EXHAUSTED! But this time we were happy. I tucked a very satisfied 3 year old into bed tonight. I know I was tired today, but unlike Wednesday, I was tired but happy.

Family Matters

Anthony and I are very blessed in many areas in our lives. One of the most important areas is in our families. We have been blessed with wonderful families. There are so many things our families do for us that I am very grateful for, but very high on that list is how much they love and care for our boys.
Our families have always been so willing to help with our children whenever they have been able to or we have asked. Unfortunately we have had quite a few times when it has been needed, but it is such a comfort to know we have family who enjoy being with the boys. Even though Mum and Dad are in NZ, I know they would be here in a heartbeat if we needed them.
I know most families love their grandchildren/nephews etc very much, but not everyone is as blessed as we are to have the type of families who are so willing to look after them so often. We are blessed.

Side By Side

A friend is getting married tomorrow. I see the excitement buzzing amongst her family any it brings my own wedding rushing back.
All the planning, organizing, and fussing.
Anthony and I made promises that day. We try hard to keep those promises.
I am grateful I found someone I loved enough that the idea of being with them day-in-day-out was exactly what I wanted to spend my life doing.
I am grateful I have Anthony to stand beside me day-in-day-out to bear witness to my life, the good and the bad. His being there makes it all worthwhile.

Trash Talk

As Anthony will attest to, I have issues with our rubbish bin. For some bizarre reason, it is VERY important to me that our bins are taken down the end of our very steep driveway each week so they can be emptied on Wednesday morning.
I'm sure many wives also nag about their bin, so back me up here!

There have been occasions where I wake up startled on a Wednesday morning because I can hear the rubbish truck coming and I think Anthony has forgotten to take the bin down.

EVERY Tuesday night I 'remind' Anthony that the bin needs to go down- like he wouldn't know after over 340 weeks we have been married (6 and a half years for those not so mathematically inclined).

Anthony often has to remind me that the rubbish should not be such an issue and that in the larger scheme of things it won't matter, and I know he is right in a way. I know that compared to the many atrocities in this world, my overflowing bin doesn't really matter.
HOWEVER, having to sneak rubbish into our neighbors bin the following bin night does matter to me. Having to stand in our bin to squeeze the tiniest bit of rubbish in does matter to me. Having the stink of garbage for a week around our house because we had to put garbage bags in the shed under our house does matter to me.

So maybe it doesn't matter in the eternal perspective, but missing bin night matters to me.

Now just for the record, our bin has been emptied each week for some time now. In fact, Anthony has only missed it three times our whole marriage. So what can we learn from this?
NAGGING WORKS!!!

Too Cool for School

I am not a 'cool' person. It's just not in me. I don't dress in what's currently in style. I'm pretty out of touch with a lot of popular culture. When I get a winning hand in Poker, I get all excited and start rocking in my chair (yep, not exactly bluffing). I was completely obvious when I had my heart set on Anthony-none of this playing hard-to-get for me.
When I was 15 I spent nearly 18 months in a back brace. I had to wear it for 23 hours a day and could only take it off for a shower and to swim some laps at the local pool. Wearing a brace as a teenager-not cool. Pulling on the straps on your brace so tight you can't undo the clasps and are stuck in it-even less cool.

As an adult, you hope to develop some class. To not be a bumbling idiot anymore. Aparently this doesn't come automatically with age! I learnt this a couple of years back while I was still at uni. I had an exam on campus for an Ethics class. I arrived at uni and felt a little weird like I was missing something, then realized I didn't have a pile of textbooks like I usually had for regular classes. I had to drop off a book to the library and then I headed towards the room where my exam would be and bumped into a few friends and had a little chat.

Once I arrived at the building my exam was in, I began walking through the sliding doors only to see my reflection. I still had a Winnie the Pooh towel wrapped around my hair from when I washed my hair earlier that morning!
I couldnt believe I had come to uni with it on my head, but worse than that, how had no one told me!

Ah yes, I'm all class!

Dad Shoutout

My Dad is.....well, he's my Dad! He is the reason I like to be punctual, the reason I value reliability so much, and he is the reason I know that amongst the many things in life that demand our time and attention, we must MAKE time for family. We MAKE time to show them they matter.
My Dad made sure that even though his plate was often full enough for two, with 6 children, church responsibilities, work, and study, he made time for us. He held weekly 'interviews' with each of us where he would talk to us about our week while we lay on his bed next to him. We each got a chocolate bar at the end too! Dad often fell asleep and would ask us the exact same question we had just answered and sometimes after failed attempts to wake him, I would reach across him and grab my chocolate and tip-toe out the room. It wasn't the chocolate that I was there for though, because I know I would have gone every Sunday for my little 'interview' with Dad even without the chocolate. I think what I loved most was having his time and attention. I could see how exhausted he was, but that he valued time with his children even more than sleep. Dad loves birthdays and Christmas and any family event. He made sure these times were special for us.
My Dad would do anything for his children. I know that if I ever ended up in jail, he would probably yell at me through the cell bars, but the second he left the building he would be on his Blackberry doing all he could to get me out.
On Father's Day-I want my Dad to know how much I love and appreciate him. Much of who I am today, I owe to my Dad and I couldn't have asked for a better father.

My Father-in-law is the other Dad in my life. He reminds me so much of my husband, but of course they both have their differences. My Father-in-law also loves anything family related. When we are all together having dinner or just sitting around together, he has such a look of contentment on his face. I am so grateful for the example he is to his children, Anthony in particular. I won't get to see him on Fathers Day, but hope he knows I love and appreciate him.

My husband is an amazing father. I get to see all aspects of him as a Father, and I feel so blessed to have found someone who is such a hands-on Dad. He changed MANY nappies, woke to crying babies, and cleaned up vomit ( while dry retching at the same time). When our boys are sick, he spends the nights with them in hospital, and when I am unwell, he takes on the roles of both Mum AND Dad.
More than all of that, he chooses to spend what little free time he has taking his boys to the park, or wrestling on loungeroom floor. If our boys follow his example and turn out like Anthony, I will be thrilled!

Happy Fathers Day to all Fathers!

Almost A Win-Win Situation

Year 2 wasn't a good year for me. I did things I'm not proud of. Even though I was only six at the time, these things stayed with me.
I stole stickers from my teacher.
I stole and ran away with a wig that belonged to the girl in my class who was bald because of the disease Alopecia.
I accidentally spat in my friends face and laughed hysterically instead of apologizing profusely.

See? Not my finest moments.

These memories stayed with me and I like to think it's because they changed me in some way. They taught me not to steal. They taught me to be compassionate and kind. They taught me to be apologetic when you are in the wrong (still haven't got this one perfected).

As an adult, so much of what happens in life is inflicted upon us rather than caused by us. Sure there are difficult situations that we put ourselves in, but often these tough times are not a result of poor judgement at all, they are a result of life. Instead of looking for what the situation is trying to teach me, I have been TRYING to think of how it can change me.
Instead of asking;
"What am I supposed to learn as a result of this experience?"
I have been asking;
"What am I supposed to become as a result of this experience?"

Whether it helps me be more patient, more organized, more humble, or more understanding, I know that our experiences can change us.

It has changed my thinking a great deal in terms of how I react when I feel overwhelmed or hard-done-by in the hand i am dealt because it empowers me. Regardless of the outcome, I WILL gain something positive from the experience.