This sounds a bit morbid, but I was thinking the other day about my funeral. Anthony and I have spoken about our funerals before, about what music we would like, who we would like to speak, what we would like to be written on our headstones etc. Whenever we talk about it, I express the sentiment that it doesn't really matter all that much to me because I WILL BE DEAD.
But when I was thinking the about it, what does matter to me is what people will say or feel about me at my funeral. I know it sounds incredibly vain and self-centered, and perhaps it is, but to me, these thoughts and feelings are a reflection of how I have lived my life (or at least how it appeared I lived my life ;o).
So, what would I like people to say about me?
Well, for starters I would hope I was a good friend. I would hope I was friendly too anyone who sought my company. I would hope people felt that I cared about them just by being around me-that words wern't necessary.
I hope my family knew they are my world. That the things I do and the decisions I make all revolve around what is best for us. I would hope they thought I was fun, in-between all the daily chores. I hope they feel that I MADE time for them amid the hustle and bustle of life.
I would like to be thought of as someone who could be relied on-that my word really meant something.
When you know what outcome you are after, it's so much easier to plan how to get there. If these are qualities and traits I hope for others to see in me, I guess they are what I should be working on now. I guess I had better get cracking.
I have no doubt that at the end of the day, the cleanliness of my home, pricetag on my car and clothes, and my social status in the world will mean nothing to me if the people I care about don't know it. And at the end of the day, if all the things I want are said about me at my funeral, I guess I will have fooled everyone ;o)